04 Dec 2018

Iraqis Remember George H.W. Bush: A Gentleman When It Came To Bombing Us

Several Iraqis bombed during the Persian Gulf War expressed their condolences and paid tribute to former President George H.W. Bush.

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23 Nov 2017

President Donald Trump Allegedly Groped A Thanksgiving Turkey

President Donald Trump hoisted the Thanksgiving turkey into the air, and said, “Is this a woman turkey?” And added, “Women turkeys are very special.”

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23 Nov 2017

Man Still On Hold Waiting For Liberal Hotline To Tell Him What To Say About Trump During Thanksgiving Dinner

Not wanting to let the moment pass, a man is still waiting for a liberal hotline to give him talking points on Trump that he can repeat to family.

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06 Nov 2017

US Politicians Prepare Thoughts And Prayers For Next Victims Of Shooting They Won’t Do Anything To Prevent

The White House and members of Congress prepared thoughts and prayers for those who will be shot and killed in the nation’s next mass shooting. “It is best to be ready, since we’re not going to entertain a national conversation or support a policy change that could possibly reduce the

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11 Oct 2017

Scott Pruitt’s EPA Will Fight For States’ Rights To Climate Change

In a draft four-year plan, the Scott Pruitt’s EPA promises to go above and beyond to restore the rights of states to endure climate change.

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08 Oct 2017

National Weather Service Reluctantly Takes On Role Of Forecasting Next Gun Massacre

As a nation once again debates whether to debate whether to do anything meaningful to make it harder for Americans to kill masses of people with guns, sources with the National Weather Service said they plan to include potential threats of gun violence in their forecasts. One official sighed very

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07 Mar 2016

Comedy Sketch: ‘Bernie Bros On Campus’

Over the past months, I have taken a stab at sketch writing. My attempts at sketch writing mostly stem from the fact that I am enrolled in improvisation classes at the iO Theater in Chicago, and I performed in two sketch shows in the Chicago Sketchfest in January. I am

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