Is there anything old people like more than hating on young people’s taste in music? I mean it’s like the Olympics for us.

I hope I will never have to use the coverage I get for half the shit that could go wrong with my body. What is the problem with just not using it, and going on about your day? Does the mere thought of birth control make you want to sex your secretary, mailman, kid’s second grade teacher? Is this like if you show kids condoms they’ll suddenly think about penis + vagina because otherwise that will never happen? Where is the imposition?

Markwayne Mullin wants them all bloodied from the Comstock.

Well, you would know, you smuggy dumbass. You ran against Osama bin Laden in 2004.

Give us something to DO, dammit. Don’t blather on about the Kingdom of God and how we’re all storing up riches in heaven. Show us how to make things better right HERE. You don’t need religion to do that, of course, but why can’t it be one way people get there? I mean, cripes. It’s not like there’s a shortage of poor people need feeding. For just ten seconds shut up about abortion and the great gay apocalypse and let people think.

Kevyn Orr, by the way, is getting paid $275,000 to tell people who made $35,000 a year their whole lives to get real. Just in case your irony meter wasn’t already buried in the red zone. T

You mean people make an actual CONNECTION, like in their brainmeats, between having no power as workers and getting fucked over by their bosses? You mean that’s a thing we have done? ASTONISHING.

Not content to be publicly owned by Wendy Davis on the floor of the Texas legislature and all over the airwaves, Rick Perry again decides to nom his loafers.

We’d fix this.

Okay, look, I get that not everybody mainlines CSI on afternoons when they’re trying to procrastinate a book project, but surely everybody on EARTH has caught at least one episode by now, right?