Late Night: In Defense of One Direction, Or Why Your Favorite Music Is Terrible
Is there anything old people like more than hating on young people’s taste in music? I mean it’s like the Olympics for us.
Late Night: You Can’t Cover MY Contraception, Obamahitler!
I hope I will never have to use the coverage I get for half the shit that could go wrong with my body. What is the problem with just not using it, and going on about your day? Does the mere thought of birth control make you want to sex your secretary, mailman, kid’s second grade teacher? Is this like if you show kids condoms they’ll suddenly think about penis + vagina because otherwise that will never happen? Where is the imposition?
Late Night: Yet They Want More
Markwayne Mullin wants them all bloodied from the Comstock.
Late Night: Saxby Chambliss Is Still an Asshole
Well, you would know, you smuggy dumbass. You ran against Osama bin Laden in 2004.
Late Night: ‘Hipper Worship Bands’
Give us something to DO, dammit. Don’t blather on about the Kingdom of God and how we’re all storing up riches in heaven. Show us how to make things better right HERE. You don’t need religion to do that, of course, but why can’t it be one way people get there? I mean, cripes. It’s not like there’s a shortage of poor people need feeding. For just ten seconds shut up about abortion and the great gay apocalypse and let people think.
Late Night: If Only Detroit Was Too Big to Fail
Kevyn Orr, by the way, is getting paid $275,000 to tell people who made $35,000 a year their whole lives to get real. Just in case your irony meter wasn’t already buried in the red zone. T
Late Night: It’s Almost Like Workers Dislike Being Screwed
You mean people make an actual CONNECTION, like in their brainmeats, between having no power as workers and getting fucked over by their bosses? You mean that’s a thing we have done? ASTONISHING.
Late Night: In Which Rick Perry Continues to be a Tool
Not content to be publicly owned by Wendy Davis on the floor of the Texas legislature and all over the airwaves, Rick Perry again decides to nom his loafers.
Late Night: Too Dumb For This Ride
Okay, look, I get that not everybody mainlines CSI on afternoons when they’re trying to procrastinate a book project, but surely everybody on EARTH has caught at least one episode by now, right?