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Donald Trump Remembered Some Black People For Black History Month

The following is from President Donald Trump’s remarks at a Black History Month event with African Americans.

Well, this is black history month, so this is our little breakfast, so this is our get-together. It comes after January and right before March. We celebrate your incredible history because, you know, your people have really come a long way since the first days of our country, when the founding fathers started America and put us on a path toward greatness. We lost our foothold and now we’re getting back to what really made this country great. That was my campaign.

Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., you know, he’s someone we celebrated last month. Frederick Doug—Douglass, well, that’s an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job that is being recognized more and more. There’s Thomas Jefferson and Abraham Lincoln and then Martin Luther King, and they really left their mark on history. This country doesn’t make civil rights heroes like it used to. But, so, it’s black history month, and you’re at my event for black history month. It’s an African American listening session so you’ll listen or, uh, I’ll listen to you.

There’s now a museum here in D.C. for this. I hear it’s wonderful, and maybe I’ll go some time. It has Martin Luther King, Douglass—Harriet Tubman is in there. She’s just a fabulous person, who gets some credit. Not enough credit. Rosa Parks, of course, we all know she did that thing where she sat down on a bus. Does anyone here like Malcolm X? Some people like Malcolm X, but you put an X in your name and that’s bad judgment. Bad judgment.

Then there’s the mayhem coming to our inner cities and high-rates of murder. We have Steve Harvey and Ben Carson so we’re gonna take care of our inner city people. I like Tiger Woods, though his game is a mess these days. Probably has something to do with the media and getting a bad rap. I don’t watch CNN, but did you see what CNN said the other day? Fake news, I say.

Anyways, Dennis Rodman, we’ve kept in touch because, of course, I had him on “The Apprentice” a few times. We may use him in North Korea because he’s just been fantastic with the people there. The people just love him.

[Note: This piece was published as part of Shadowproof’s satire section, “Beyond Satire.” If you are a writer who would like to submit satire for publication, please pitch us at editor@shadowproof.com.]

Kevin Gosztola

Kevin Gosztola

Kevin Gosztola is managing editor of Shadowproof. He also produces and co-hosts the weekly podcast, "Unauthorized Disclosure."