Hillary and Jeb propose Marriage
In their attempt to become the next President of the United States, Hillary and Jeb have proposed to get married.
No, they are not divorcing their current spouses, they have decided under the equal protection for all part of the US constitution to enter into lawful bigamy.
Thus they will steal the entire Moron vote from Mitt Romney, because we all know Morons will instinctively support any bigamist over some weird monogamist, even with his dog strapped to the roof of his car.
Because Jeb and Hillary (Jillery?) are running jointly, with neither of them on the top of the ticket, they will become completely bi; a bi-partisan president, ruling equally on behalf of their political contributors. Their platform will consist of the main themes they both support:
Grinding neo-liberal austerity and bombing the Middle East to Glass or the Stone Age whichever comes first. And unwavering support for Israel because: Dollars.
Because we have Hillary on the left (cough, cough) and Jeb on the RRRight, the Tea Party will become neutered (we can only hope), and will Koch up enough money for ‘Jillary’ to win the presidency.
What, the reader asks will become of Bill and Columbia (Jeb’s wife not the Country)? Well, all we can say is there is to be soundproofing and reinforcing added to the bedrooms in the White House.
Remember, what happens in the White House (bedrooms) stays in the White House. The NSA have assured the Bushes and the Clintons that there will be no video surveillance of the interior of the White House at any time. This brings into question, of course, why there was an order for five hundred 2,000 mm telephoto lenses for cameras recently ordered by the NSA, and those new strange lampposts being installed outside the White House on the street, ostensibly being used to auto-ticket for red lights and speeding offenses.
In related news Monica Lewinsky is named as the new Bush-Clinton White House social secretary.
Vote for Jillary – the new faces of the Right Bipartisanship in the US.
Funny thing – there is no left left; unless Bernie Sanders somehow manages to surpass Clinton in the primaries. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Two rights puts us going backwards, which would only work if it were not continuing to go backwards to the 18th century. We know three rights can make a left, but that’s in a different context…
But now we’d have 4 rights in the White House (2 couples), and that would get us nowhere after going round in circles, which is not a bug but a feature.