I never had any intention of seeing The Interview after seeing the commercials for it. It seemed like Dumb and Dumber go assassinate the Most Ridiculously Insane Dear Leader Ever. I couldn’t even sit through Dumb and Dumber, so I just dismissed it from my mind as a moviegoing choice this holiday season and left The Battle of the Five Armies and Into the Woods at the top of my own list.

Apparently, I’m not alone. The few reviews so far on Rotten Tomatoes mostly agree, and the few good reviews result from praise of actor Randall Park’s portrayal of Kim Jung Il.

Then along comes the Sony hack, threats of violence allegedly from North Korea, Sony’s decision to pull the movie after most theater chains said they wouldn’t risk showing it, the American ruling class’ outrage over this horrible intellectual terrorist attack on free speech(including one talking head on ABC’s This Week calling for all Americans to watch it as an act of defiant patriotism), followed by the joyous announcement that about 300 select theaters across the country will show this bad movie at midnight on Christmas Day.

What a crock. My apologies for being unable to find the links to the NPR and PBS stories, but a cyber-protection firm came out with the best theory I’ve seen on who done it. It seems there is this former Sony IT type going by the name of Lena who had initially demanded through this Guardians of Peace group that Sony pay them money or else. When Sony ignored her, she used her knowledge of all of the passwords and back doors that Sony had foolishly, and initially profitably, failed to change, infiltrated their whole computer system, and wiped out everything. Now Sony has to pay to fix it all. Look for video game price increases in the near future, gamers.

Then, to cover her tracks, and knowing she had used a standard Korean hacking program as one of her tools, this Lena and her group pretended to be the North Korean government and issued threats of violence. I won’t go over all of the wailing and gnashing of teeth this engendered from President Obama on down, except to say: Well-played, Lena and company, if it’s true.

But now this movie, which IMO doesn’t approach the level of intellectual comedy that would qualify it as anything remotely resembling a true satire(Damn, but Obama can be just so plain stupid sometimes), will be released in “selected” theaters on Christmas Day. Rejoice, America! We’ve stood up to the evil terrorist regime!

The timing is truly disgusting. I am no Christian, but somehow I think that releasing a movie of which the central plot is the planned murder of anyone, even a wacko foreign head of state, on the day set aside to celebrate the birth of the man who came to earth bearing a message of peace, love, and forgiveness is in incredibly bad taste at best and heretical anathema at worst. While I can agree with one of my own ancestral gods, Loki, that the whole thing is a wonderful trick in some ways, I can also see Thor’s point that there is nothing honorable about the whole episode and Odin’s that it displays both the hypocrisy of many Christians and the true nature of the capitalist system that has no room for things like honor and courage.

All say that it would be most entertaining to see the old Roman Catholic Inquisition go after the Sony executives and American politicians who are celebrating the release of this most un-Christian of films on one of the holiest days of the Christian calendar. It’s such a pity Torquemada is no longer around.

But Pope Francis is. So far, he’s let this one slide. Maybe he feels that he would sully his office by even talking about this crap, but I personally think it would be fitting if he at least challenged the timing of the movie’s release. For that matter, where are all those rightwing Christians who are forever going on about the War on Christmas? Does not the release of The Interview on Christmas Day constitute a new attack?

Oh, right Odin. Hypocrisy again.

Anyway, best wishes for the holidays, drink plenty of winter solstice cheer, and please avoid doing something so crass as seeing this bad movie on your own time.

Ohio Barbarian

Ohio Barbarian