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20 Reasons(to start) I Hate Christmas; 1 Reason I Like It

1. I see people on the road this time of year that I don’t for the rest of the year, and they can’t drive worth shit. Makes driving more dangerous, it does.

2. Piped-in Christmas music in stores and some workplaces.

3. The Chipmunks.

4. The constant clamoring to give to the needy because of the season. As if the needy don’t need help the other 11 months out of the year.

5. The smugness of those who engage in #4 and then how they look down their noses at those they so self-righteously helped at Christmas for the rest of the year.

6. TV commercials of vehicles in bows.

7. Traffic anywhere near a shopping mall.

8. Non-Christians who think Christmas is the most important day for Christians.

9. Christians who think Christmas is the most important day for Christians.

10. People who think Jesus of Nazareth was actually born on December 25th. According to the gospels, he was born in the spring. Why do you think early Christians used the sign of the fish? I’m not even Christian, and I know that.

11. A whole retail industry that lives or dies on sales made in just one month.

12. Doorbuster sales.

13. Online ads.

14. Wrapping paper.

15. Shoppers bitching about minimum wage retail employees who have been on their feet for hours being too slow.

16. Retail managers harassing minimum wage retail employees for looking tired and being too slow.

17. Fruitcake.

18. Advertisements that tell us that if we don’t spend a lot on gifts for our loved ones, then we don’t love them.

19. Idiots who believe the ads in #18.

20. Presidential Christmas messages.

Please feel free to add your own reasons to hate Christmas. For that matter, feel free to add any reasons you like Christmas.

I’ll start that one:

A. I get a paid holiday.

So Happy Friggin’ Holidays, and have a nice day.

 

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Ohio Barbarian

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