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Allow me to …

Bombs away! (photo: US Air Force)

Broadly generalize.

-The President: “Bomb some, at a slightly higher level than we are bombing now, but allow me to explain we have been bombing all along — and bombing is important to some folks, real important to others. I have…uh….over these five and a half years, learned to enjoy some bombing.”

– Other politicians with a microphone in front of them: “Bombing is not a some time thing, Bombing is an all-the-time thing! America wants to bomb shit as much as possible!! Why won’t this President bomb more than just some, but bomb bomb bomb. It is what America wants, indiscriminate death from the skies is the only thing that gets me off anymore!”

“America”: “Actually we wish we were Japan, because apparently they want this.

…okay, maybe not that…but we are not all that keen on bombing. Some decent jobs would be nice though”.

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Attaturk

Attaturk

In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .

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