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Smartest SF Show on TV, Person of Interest, Returns Sept 23. Why Aren’t There More Like It?

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I’m excited for the return of ” Person of Interest” Season 4 premieres Tuesday, Sept. 23 on CBS. I will not be missing the cancelled TV show Intelligence.

I was praising the show recently and i09 user Longsnake agreed.  “POI is probably the best show on TV, full stop. ” Agreed.  I wondered, how the hell did this make it to mainstream network TV? J.J. Abrams of course, but I wondered if any of the people who green lighted PoI figured out why it works and make more like it or if they learned the wrong lessons and make crappy copies? The answer: They make crappy copies, like: Intelligence. 

But why make crappy copies? To answer the question I used the power of my mind and my computer hacking skillz to find the answer.

Below is an inexact transcript of the pitch meeting for Intelligence that took place at CBS following the success of Person of Interest.* 

Guy pitching Intelligence: “It’s like Person of Interest meets Chuck. He’s a good looking Navy Seal who has the NSA database in his head. Actually the whole Internet is IN the head of  the hero. He works for a Government cyberspace agency nobody’s heard of and travels the world solving cases.  We show great special effects graphics only he can see, so we skip boring people sitting in front of computer screens typing stuff.  He’s military, but he’s reckless , so they assign a hot woman to “protect” him, but he doesn’t really need it, so there is lots of sexual tension. Plus, he has a dead wife. Or does he!?”

Studio exec: “I love it! We’ll MAKE IT! First, casting. We should use some leftover Lost and CSI people in it. One of those square jaw guys from Lost. I know that Marg what’s her face is free, she can be the ‘smart yet vulnerable female boss’ who has more balls than the men she works with. I’ll hand that part, you handle the rest.

Pitching Guy gets up to leave.

Wait! You need some comic relief like in PoI. Get some goofy nerdy SF characters, my agent knows that fat dumpy guy from Star Trek and says he’s good at technobabble.

Wait! Include family drama for backstories. Do some father and son or father and daughter things. Stay away from mother and daughter or mother and son things, men hate that, makes them feel weird especially if the female lead is a MILF, which Marg is. God she’s hot for her age. Sure Camryn Manheim brings weight to PoI but, HA! Weight! I meant gravity but I said weight, that’s so funny.  My point is family flashbacks sell to women so if the men have to watch them they should be hot women.

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A brain in a box.