The Supreme Court of the United States Police protecting a 300 foot buffer zone around the Supreme Court of the United States.

Ever since Clarence Thomas slithered in, the qualifications for serving on the Supreme Court have become increasingly obscure. Obviously, judicial temperament is not among them, but what is it exactly that makes one worthy of a lifetime appointment to the highest court in the land?

Well, today I think I found out what it is: the ability to believe in the opposite of observable reality. Worse, it’s bipartisan.

No one was surprised when right wing toadies like Roberts declared that racism was a thing of the past, like Edsels and poodle skirts, or when the “conservative” bloc declared that vast amounts of money ladled to candidates didn’t create even an “appearance” of corruption.

But when a unanimous court declared that the often violent and never reasonable “pro-life” protesters were being stifled in their “free speech” by having to harass vulnerable women from a respectable distance away, it became clear that the black robe must be worn over the head, with earbuds.

Never mind that large reaches of Red America are systematically shutting down clinics and/or hounding them out of existence. Ignore the fact that only a few Democrats are even willing to defend what remains, albeit tentatively, a Constitutional right. Set aside the long list of bombings, murder, and death threats these supposedly beleaguered “counselors” have perpetrated in the past.

No, for SCOTUS, all that matters is a sweet granny wishing to turn the little sluts from their whoring ways and get on the Mommy track, even if they’re 14 and the father is their Dad. They promise to do it ever so gently.

Tucked safely behind their own much larger buffer zone, the Court sees thing a little differently. You see, only some people are sensitive to harassment by the rabble, and therefore deserve protection: Wall Street, Republican conventioneers, big money donors.

And you all know that hippies are much more threatening than, say, Jesus-addled gun-fondlers unduly obsessed with others’ sex lives.

I’m sure that women have nothing at all to fear from the upcoming Hobby Lobby case; that is, if said women happen to be Supreme Court Justices.