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The Goldstein Games

There was this farmer one time that had this hog and well, the hog had two wooden legs. One day this city fella stops for directions and sees the hog with the two wooden legs. He asks the farmer, “Why do you have a hog with two wooden legs?” The farmer lights up, all excited: “Let me tell you about this here hog mister, why this hog was my little girl’s favorite, when he’s a piglet. One day she goes off and gets lost in the woods and this big ole boy found her.”

“But, what about the wooden legs?”

“Well, I’m getting to it! I ain’t got to the best part yet. One night the house caught fire and this hog was a squealing so loud, he woke the whole family and saved all our lives! What about that?”

“Yeah, but why does the hog have two wooden legs?”

The farmer takes off his hat scratching his head, acting surprised and answers: “Mister, you just couldn’t eat a hog like that all at once, could you?”

I bet they’ll belly laugh over that one in the Supreme Court cloakroom; dismantling government and in the process, cutting the legs out from under themselves, once they decide corporations are people, money is free speech, and campaign donation limits are a violation of free speech. And coming soon from a Supreme Court near you… corporations have religious rights. Then what’s left to do, but tidy up and go home.

It becomes a business theocracy, a Wall Street Taliban — Washington Al Qaeda, with no God other than money. A Supreme Court, what do we need with a Supreme Court? The commandments chiseled in stone. First commandment: Money is God. Second commandment: If in doubt, see first commandment. Big Brotherism, without Big Brother, but fascism requires a central operating figure, doesn’t it? Without Mussolini, whose face will they put on the posters?

That’s all so-last-century, one-size-fits-all, off-the-rack-Big-Brother. Today there’s a custom Big Brother… built just for you. Listen closely and it will tell you who Goldstein is and what mischief he’s been about. Or simply change the channel and another Big Brother will explain of another Goldstein and his treasons. Tune in the latest, big hit crime drama, where Goldstein’s criminals use our liberal laws to escape from justice. Tales of gore and titillating crime sprees, tune in to the latest comedy, where everyone lives as Big Brother says they live. A place like no one you know lives, where the chocolate rations are never cut.

You could be a star, you know? So Sing for Big Brother or dance with Big Brother! It could happen you know, look at that guy, the one who won last year; you know who I’m talking about, ah… what’s his name! Escapist fantasies on desert Islands, or the deserts of New Jersey, playing games, rewarding deception and double dealing… The Goldstein Games!

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David Cox

David Cox

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