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Federal Cameras in Women’s Restrooms Revealed

Using undisputed classified documents and photos, an anonymous whistleblower has revealed that thousands of women’s rest rooms in federal buildings have been fitted with cameras above and below the commodes, in a clandestine federal program to monitor potential terrorism and prevent rape.

“The leaker who illegally revealed this program will be found and prosecuted,” said House Intelligence Chair Congressman Mike Rogers. “There hasn’t been a single complaint about it, proof positive that it hasn’t invaded anyone’s privacy or harmed anyone until this leaker’s reckless actions.”  Rogers made similar comments about NSA surveillance at a privacy hearing in October, insisting “You can’t have your privacy violated if you don’t know your privacy is violated.”

“These anti government leakers care nothing about preventing assault or terror attacks. Their goal is to sabotage government agencies and become famous. Some day we’ll identify this one.  Meanwhile, he or she has rendered a valuable 80 million dollar program worthless by alerting criminals of its existence,” said Rogers.

Former Congressman Bob Filner, who helped launch and provided oversight of the program for nine years until 2012, agrees an essential tool for combating both rape and terrorism has now been compromised.

“The case for this program is far stronger even than the case for bulk internet surveillance by the NSA. While we know terrorists like Bin Laden and the Boston Marathon Bombers avoid the internet, rapists really do target ladies’ rest rooms. If not for this leak we would certainly have made an arrest by this time next year,” said Filner, an expert on sexual assault now serving three years probation after pleading guilty.

Senate Intelligence Committee Chair Dianne Feinstein, who has approved every case of suspicionless bulk surveillance, was unavailable for comment.

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