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That worked out well

Ken Cuccinelli

In Virginia prior to the shutdown things were not going well for ultra-conservative oral sex hater Ken Cuccenelli, but when your ideological kinsfolk put a half-million Virginia Federal Employees out of work that coffin is nailed shut.

Democrat Terry McAuliffe has jumped to a 17-point lead over Republican Ken Cuccinelli in the Virginia gubernatorial race following the federal government shutdown that hit Northern Virginia hard and Hillary Clinton’s weekend visit to the state.

For anybody to be nearly 20 points behind Terry McAuliffe is a tremendous feat, but Ken Cuccenelli is the kind of politician who plans on losing by as much as possible, no matter how uninspiring the alternative.

Behold the secret plan.

Rick Santorum is signing up volunteers for a “strikeforce” to help Virginia Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli in his bid to become governor of Virginia.

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In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .