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A Cunning Plan

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“Hey, America, this is the NSA, remember that time we listened in on you as you called that 900 number and used your passwords to that porn site you like? Yeah, good times right? Remember how we’re pals?”

The day before he is to begin a series of public hearings on Capitol Hill, [Director of the NSA General Keith] Alexander said in a speech at the National Press Club: “We need your help.

“The American people have to weigh in and help us get the tools we need to defend this country,” Alexander said.

Hey, maybe a new control room that looks more like Joss Wheden’s Enterprise instead of Gene Roddenberry’s will do the trick?

I’m sure this will add to the popularity:

A letter sent to Senator Chuck Grassley provides a full list of all the employees that the NSA Office of the Inspector General found to have wilfully abused the NSA’s capabilities since 2003—including spying on loved ones.

In fact, the full list includes 12 incidents, two of which are open investigations, and one of which could be investigated in the future. Eight of the twelve involved spying on wives, girlfriends, husbands, or boyfriends.

Amazingly, one incident saw an employee query “six email addresses belonging to a former girlfriend, a US person” on his first day on the job.

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Dear Mr. Kline...



In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .