Shadowproof

Filner Pulls All Nighter, No Longer Wants To Bone Anything With Boobs


San Diego Mayor Bob Filner is a real go-getter.  When he sets his mind on something, such as running for Congress or becoming the mayor of America’s seventh largest city or awkwardly propositioning any woman within yelling distance, he doesn’t take “no” for an answer no matter how hard you try to squirm out of his Headlock of Seduction. So when his attorney and advisers told him he needed to go to sex camp he was all “Fuck yeah! High five!” until they explained that it was more like Not-Every-Lady-Wants-Your-Man-Meat Camp and then he was all, “Fuck”.  But a-camping he did go, and he did it with a vengeance, passing his classes with flying T’s & A’s in record time and now he’s tan, rested, and ready to no longer grind his pelvis against the firm jutting buttocks of women he meets at social events … unless they look like they want it. And deep down, don’t they all?  Amirite right, guys?

High five! Whoo!

He’s back, San Diego!

San Diego Mayor Bob Filner’s chief of staff confirmed to 10News that the mayor began his therapy a week early and has already completed the program.

On Friday afternoon, Chief of Staff Lee Burdick told 10News reporter Allison Ash that Filner began his two weeks of “intensive” therapy one week earlier due to “intense media coverage.”

In a press conference in late July, Filner said he would begin his two-week therapy session on August 5.

He was originally scheduled to come back to work August 19, but Filner is reportedly coming back to San Diego Friday.

When asked, Burdick did not say when the mayor would return.

It is entirely possible that we will someday look back upon his quick and early exit from sex “therapy” camp as a premature graduation.

 

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