Liz Cheney Tired of Waiting for Real Housewives of Laramie to Happen

Professional lady asshole Liz Cheney, whose greatest accomplishment to date is being born thus keeping her dad out of Vietnam where he probably would have shot his entire platoon in the face (this makes Liz A Great American Who Loves Our Fighting Men U-S-A! U-S-A!) is running for Mike Enzi’s seat in the US Senate. As you may have heard, Cheney recently referred to Enzi as a Alzheimers-addled useless meatbag who should be taken behind the barn and (SPOILER!) shot just like Ole Yeller.  She didn’t actually call him a “meatbag” but the rest of that stuff is totally true.

You may also recall that there were rumblings that Liz was planning on running for a house seat in Virginia, which is pretty much where she has lived her whole life while her dad sucked deeply upon the government teat, made Halliburton rich, and ran off and hid when he shot people in the face. But seeing that Virginia, which is For Lovers, has some standards about whom they love, Liz  headed to Wyoming, the Magical Enchanted Land of sheep-fuckers and Matthew Sheppard-murderers or, as she might call them: “my kind of people, the Wyominions”. But now she has been there for over a whole year and she is bored bored bored, probably because there are no Muslims in Wyoming to yell at, and also because it is fucking Wyoming; a land so barren and empty that even the Palin’s won’t go there even though they have meth.

Of course, not all Republicans are on board with this Cheney candidacy (turns out that some Republicans have standards too. I know … weird.) and Ed Rollins called Liz a bored housewife this morning:

GOP strategist Ed Rollins accused Liz Cheney of moving to Wyoming simply to run for office following her Tuesday bid to challenge Wyoming’s senior Sen. Mike Enzi for his seat.

Her candidacy will be portrayed as “a housewife who’s kind of bored who moved back to Wyoming after a long time to run for the Senate,” Rollins told The Hill. “Unfortunately for Liz, that’s not a state like California or New York where you can carpetbag very easily, and even though she was born there she hasn’t been there for a long time.”

Oh look, the Republican War On Women is back! And they are hating on their own.

Obviously this is good news for John McCain.

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