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That dog won’t hunt

Down where my folks live in Athens County, Ohio, they have a saying which means an idea or action makes no sense and is doomed to failure…“That dog won’t hunt.”

Mr. President, as to sending arms to people in Syria in hopes that they use them only on their repressive, homicidal, secular government…”That dog won’t hunt.”

That is one really stupid idea. Only a complete idiot would try something like that just because the Republicans are calling him a pussy. All you have to do is resist what appears to be an insane impulse to George W. Bushify your presidency.

Only a man with straw between his ears could look into the future of giving bad guys guns to shoot badder guys and see flowers and accolades. Crap, next you’ll be in a codpiece-enhanced flight suit and giving a “Mission Accomplished” speech on the deck of the U.S.S. Ronald Reagan.

Rob Rogers, the editorial cartoonist for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, has drawn a cartoon in which a man dressed like Uncle Sam stands before a mirror holding a piece of paper with Vietnam, Iraq, and Afghanistan written on it. The “Uncle Sam” in the mirror is holding a piece of paper that says, “93,000 dead in Syria.”

The Uncle Sam looking into the mirror is saying, “I’ve got three reasons why we shouldn’t get involved in Syria.”

The reflection Uncle Sam is saying, “I’ve got more than three reasons why we should!”

Mr. President, that first list should include the Korean War. The Korean War came so closely on the heels of World War II that we tend not to immediately lump it in with the other “police action” cluster fucks we’ve been involved in. Make no mistake Korea was a cluster fuck.

If you add together the American dead from the Korean War, the Vietnam War, and the Wars in Iraq and Afghanistan you see what comes from trying to police the world…dead Americans.

Now, Mr. President, add together all the benefits accrued to the United States of America from our involvement in those wars, and all you get are dead Americans.

Korea is still a mess, and the leader of North Korea is a dangerous douche bag. During the Vietnam War, Senator John McCain was held in an infamous North Vietnamese prison nicknamed the Hanoi Hilton, and now there is an actual Hilton Hotel in Hanoi.

Iraq was and is a disaster that earned us a reputation as torturers and created more dead Americans. In Afghanistan the President we prop up with our military and economic aid, Hamid Karzai, makes Anti-American statements on a regular basis…AND…in return we get dead Americans.

Every time we blunder into a shooting match for “humanitarian” reasons, we create more widows and orphans and get nothing in return except the enmity of the humans we intended to save…oh, and dead Americans.

If we are to be the world’s police department, we must accept the price…no love from the people we protect and dead Americans. There has never been any other outcome.

My father was in both the Korean and Vietnam Wars twice each. He is proud of his service, and we are proud of Dad’s service. I thank God Dad made it home safe all four times, but I’ve got to weigh the benefit of those wars against the dead Americans that came out of those wars…I find the equation lacking.

Mr. President, if you do this thing so the guys don’t call you a pussy, every widow, widower, and orphan you produce will do nothing to make you look manlier. You’ll be another idiot that had to show how big his swinging dick was by seeing how many flag-draped coffins he can ship home to grieving families.

Here is a song from back in the day that says it much better than I:

War, it ain’t nothing but a heartbreaker
War, it’s got one friend
That’s the undertaker
Ooooh, war, has shattered
Many a young man’s dreams
Made him disabled, bitter and mean
Life is much too short and precious
To spend fighting wars these days
War can’t give life
It can only take it away

(War by Edwin Starr)

So, Mr. President, what is it going to be…you turning into George W. Bush or you showing you still have some sense of decency? You do realize that if you do this thing, the Republicans will NEVER love or respect you…that dog won’t hunt.

Plus, history shows us how this goes…first its guns and bullets, and then it’s advisors, and then some advisors get dead, and then we send troops and they start to come home in body bags…the circle of life or, more accurately, death.

Tick-Tock, Mr. President…should we order more body bags, or what?

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