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They done what?

Ages ago I played football. Yes, we had helmets.

When I was a senior I weighed less than 200 pounds. I am 6 feet and 2 inches tall and I couldn’t catch a football so I was an offensive tackle.

We were playing Wellston High School when I saw my first 300-pound defensive lineman. Much to my chagrin, this man mountain of flesh was the defensive person I was expected to block. Oh, and he was at least 4 inches taller than I was.

All I did for the first quarter of the game was annoy this kid. Thank goodness he wasn’t fast because I could do nothing more than get an occasional grunt out of him.

In the second quarter of the game, I tried going low and shooting at his knees. It was unsportsmanlike as Hell…and ineffective. He just knelt on me…all 300 pounds kneeling on the small of my back.

Then I tried going high…attempting to smack him under his face guard which was not only unsportsmanlike but against the rules. That just pissed him off, and he kneed me in the stomach and south of my stomach.

In the second half of the game, I was exhausted from trying to cheap shot this kid. He was good and angry and he commenced to work me over in earnest. I was just lucky he spent more time whooping up on me than bothering to go after his real goal…our backfield.

These cowardly bastards in Boston that decided blowing up kids would make their dicks bigger found out what their side seems incapable of internalizing.

If you piss us off, we will be more than willing to kill you and anyone that aids you.

We are willing to kill people that look like you. We are willing to kill people that belong to your religion. We are willing to kill people with deep tans and dark facial hair…we are willing.

Richard Pryor used to say that the Japanese than thought up the attack on Pearl Harbor only knew white people from California. They didn’t realize that there were white people in Mississippi and Alabama that scare white people.

Pryor’s line was that on hearing about the Pearl Harbor attack, these scary white people said, “They done what? I guess we’re just gonna have to kill all of them, then.”

This isn’t an “America, love it or leave it” speech. I am proud of America, but I am the first to admit that we can be just a wee bit blood thirsty if you choose to fuck with us. Like it or not, Americans will band together to wipe out persons that mean us harm.

I just wish the terrorists would learn this lesson because so many innocent people get hurt while they refuse to get it. I wish they would learn that they aren’t really terrorists…they are more like angerists.

The more they fuck with us, the angrier we get, and the more willing we become to suspend our own long-held national beliefs and kill, maim, and torture them.

I was on vacation the week the Boston bombing was in the news. I want to tell these disaffected radicalized Muslims that there are folks from the shores of Lake Erie to the concrete lump at the southern-most point in the continental United States in Key West that are more than willing to help them meet their virgins in heaven.

I, being a liberal, commie, pussy, abhor violence, but I might be willing to look the other way if this asshole Dzhokhar Tsarnaev were left on a street corner in Boston for half of an hour early next week after authorities announce the location.

I know that is wrong. It’s as wrong as Fox and Friends nuts calling for torture and suspension of the Bill of Rights. It’s wrong, but it’s visceral, and, I fear, inevitable if these religious martyr wanna-bees don’t catch on that we have more than enough hate deep in our DNA to match their religious fervor.

How else do you explain the willingness of our citizens to let the government spend trillions of dollars and oceans of American blood to kill all those Muslims? We have national PTSD from 9/11. Instead of counseling, we’ve chosen revenge. It doesn’t look like that will change very soon.

Our legal system can handle our revenge. Dzhokhar Tsarnaev will never again see the light of day. If he doesn’t get the federal needle, he’ll have to spend the rest of his life in solitary. If he ends up in the general population, he won’t live long…and it really troubles me that I don’t seem to care what happens to him, as long as it’s painful and lasts a long time

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