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Late Night: What You Gonna Do When the Iranians Come for You?

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The answer is “take on the Iranian invasion with a busted-ass AK you don’t know how to operate that you bought at a gun shop with bars on the windows, like if the guns are such great protection what do you need to up-armor the glass for,” Alex: 

Dobbs quickly agreed, adding, “we’re told by Homeland Security that there are already agents of Al Qaeda here working in this country. Why in the world would you not want to make certain that all American citizens were armed and prepared? ”

If only there was an organization, or perhaps several organizations, that would allow you to protect America by bearing arms in some fashion.

If only that organization would not only arm you, but feed and house you as well as paying you to perform this noble task.

If only you could volunteer for such an organization, as in walk into an office in any shopping mall in America and just sign up without any invitation required.

If only you could contribute to this armed defense of your beloved country in many different ways, including on land, sea, or in the air.

If that was the case, maybe you wouldn’t need to stock an amateur-hour arsenal in your root cellar. If that was the case, you could let someone else worry about the supplies and the canned goods, and you could just kick ass for the Lord and George Washington.

It’s too bad nothing like that exists.


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Allison Hantschel

Allison Hantschel

Allison Hantschel is a 10-year veteran of the newspaper business. She publishes First Draft, a writing and politics blog, with her partners Holden, Jude and Scout. She is the author of the books Chicago's Historic Irish Pubs (2011, Arcadia Publishing, with Mike Danahey) and It Doesn’t End With Us: The Story of the Daily Cardinal, about a great liberal journalism institution (2007, Heritage Books). She also edited the anthology “Special Plans: The Blogs on Douglas Feith and the Faulty Intelligence That Led to War” (2005, William, James & Co.) Her work has appeared in the Chicago Sun-Times, the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, the Daily Southtown, Sirens Magazine, and Alternet. She lives in Chicago with her husband, two ferrets, and approximately 60 tons of books.