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Rubber Green Rooms

Given the landscape of the Sunday morning talk shows and the obvious awkwardness of the moment, it is a bit chuckle-inducing that the NRA’s Wayne LaPierre chose, of all people, that journalistic pit bull David Gregory from the liberal NBC for his “exclusive interview,” rather than, say, Chris Wallace on Fox.  Gregory, naturally, isn’t the least bit embarrassed, but instead has taken to twitter like a schoolgirl, asking hither and yon, “What should I ask him?”  Too bad he doesn’t try this novel approach each week; the results could hardly be worse.

But you really have to set your drink down when LaPierre says, in advance, that he wants to focus on “mental health,” which is kind of like Saddam Hussein saying he wants to share decorating tips.  No sentient being  on earth would give a rat’s ass what either of these two have to say on their chosen topics except, well, David Gregory.  This is the kooky gun whore who confidently predicted that President Obama was going to, somehow, “erase” the Second Amendment in a second term, and that the UN was coming to confiscate everybody’s guns.  Talking about mental health, on Meet the Press.  Right before, in the next segment, Saddam comes in with pointers about  how gold paint and pink mirrors can enliven even the dullest room.

Now if anyone other than such a complete power-fellating laughingstock had an opportunity for what ought to be a very interesting interview, comedy gold could really ensue.  I’m going out on a limb here, but I’m guessing that won’t happen.  Media Matters helpfully offered a few questions that Gregory might ask, that is if he were a journalist, rather than a clownish, overpaid totem pole in a wig.  I harbor no such illusions, but I have a diabolical reverse psychology plan in mind.

Here are the things David Gregory should never, ever, ask Wayne LaPierre, lest a cocktail weinie never grace his lips again:

1)  Since we’re talking about mental health, is it normal or bonkers to think the UN plans to take everyone’s guns, even in the remotest exurb or bayou?

2) What about the idea that the Second Amendment is meant to ward off a tyrannical government?  Do well-adjusted Americans, generally, think they stand a chance against a Predator drone or Bradley Fighting Vehicle?

3)  The shooter’s mother was evidently preoccupied with “prepping” for the coming collapse, and it turns out that now a lot of canned goods and bottled water might go to waste if we don’t cut Social Security.  Any thoughts?

See, I put that last one in there just to trick him.  It’ll probably work, sadly.

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