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Afghanistan has long been known for a few things: the place not to get involved in a land war; opium; and of course, corruption to an almost staggering degree.

Well, when a nation with such a history gets involved with a nation like America whose elite can really make a buck off of desperation — the obvious happens.

Afghan elite ransacked $900m from Kabul Bank, inquiry finds

Relative to the size of Afghanistan’s puny economy, the Kabul Bank crisis is the biggest banking scandal the world has ever seen, equivalent to around 5% of national income, and staggering in its scale and audacity.

An array of forged documents and fake official stamps for nonexistent companies helped managers keep one set of books for auditors and another for themselves; more than $800m of the stolen money went to just 12 people and seven companies connected to them.

Even Lloyd Blankfein can only marvel at their audacity.

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In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .