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Sandra Fluke Is The Rosa Parks Of Vaginas

Hoo boy, Young Master Ex-Virgin Ben Shapiro is pitching a hate-tent in his pants because Time magazine is considering Sandra Fluke as a possible Person of the Year, even though she is a woman, so not really a “person” per se:

Just when you think Time magazine can’t make any more of a mockery of itself, they nominate Sandra Fluke, contraception advocate extraordinaire, as a candidate in their Person of the Year 2012 poll
Fluke, of course, is the condom rights advocate turned Georgetown Law School martyr who testified before Congress about the hardships encountered by young female law school students who couldn’t afford to pay for their own birth control pills. Rush Limbaugh ripped her, prompting faux outcry from the left, all the way up to President Obama, who seized on the incident as proof that the right was waging some sort of war on women, as opposed to a battle against pathetic dependency on government. Obama called her personally, then used her as a campaign surrogate.

For those who don’t remember, back in February 2012, Sandra Fluke wished to address Darrell Isaa’s (R-Car Thief) hearings on contraception coverage and Issa stone cold cock-blocked her, choosing instead to only invite a bunch of dudes because bros before hos, y’all:

This morning, Democrats tore into House Oversight Committee Chairman Rep. Darrell Issa (R-CA) for preventing women from testifying before a hearing examining the Obama administration’s new regulation requiring employers and insurers to provide contraception coverage to their employees. Republicans oppose the administration’s rule and have sponsored legislation that would allow employers to limit the availability of birth control to women.

Ranking committee member Elijah Cummings (D-MD) had asked Issa to include a female witness at the hearing, but the Chairman refused, arguing that “As the hearing is not about reproductive rights and contraception but instead about the Administration’s actions as they relate to freedom of religion and conscience, he believes that Ms. Fluke is not an appropriate witness.”

You see it was actually just a sausagefest with a buncha guys sitting around and shooting the shit about whether Jesus would use a love-glove and not really about real-world lady plumbing health issues because, jeepers creepers, who the hell knows what’s going on down there, amirite? Seriously, it’s like bacon and Play-dohville or something.

Unfortunately for Republicans this non-encounter of the ladyparts kind blew up in their faces when everyone on the conservative side from Rush Limbaugh to George Tierney of Greenville South Carolina started shooting off their mouths about Sandra Fluke and what a slut-whore she was for wanting basic health care services, which in turn reminded America that conservatives have always been at war with South Vagina-stan. And so, lo and behold, it came to pass-that the War on Women was officially on like Donkey Kong (or ‘dong’ as the case may be) and the public face on the ladies side was the very composed and well-spoken Ms. Fluke and on the conservative men’s side was El Rushbo, the piggish Dominican Republic sex tourist. Throw in comments by the Republican Rape Bros, Todd Akin and Richard Mourdock, later in the campaign and, well, lets just say that conservatives spent the better part of the year working overtime to cede yet another large demographic to the Democrats for the foreseeable future, which is why we are where we are today.

And it all started with Sandra Fluke so, hell yeah: Person of the Year….

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