The Soc-donk Autopilot II to Take Vacation
WASHINGTON,DC – Democratic Leadership Council Chairman Harold Ford announced today that the Soc-donk Autopilot II, an automated social media tool cited by experts as one of the critical elements in both the election and re-election of President Barack Obama, will be taking its regularly-scheduled quadrennial maintenance at an undisclosed CIA Spy factory/Island Resort in the Caribbean.
Unconfirmed reports indicate that among other essential items requiring urgent attention, the Soc-donk II will have its wiring closely and lovingly inspected, then receive a series of full metal jacket three-in-one oil massages. All maintenance routines are expected to be performed by a spy agency expert code named “Agent Well Broad.”
The triumphant internet bot program departed from the White House Heliport early this morning after shaking hands and trading low-fives, Gangnam-style with President Obama, the First Lady, their daughters and the family dog.
“I am grateful for its valiant service!” The President shouted to assembled reporters over the loud, whirring rotors of Marine One.
Except for an unfortunate “urination incident” that occurred when the First Fido “Bo” apparently mistook the Soc-donk II for a fire hydrant, the ceremonies on the White House South Lawn went off without a hitch, clearly foreshadowing the upcoming festivities already scheduled for February 28, 2013 when the Chicago Bears, winners of the 2013 Super Bowl XLVII will visit. (Nate Silver has already called it).
In a brief press conference after the helicopter departed with its jubilant passengers partying and whupping it up on board, Ford addressed reporters, reading from a prepared statement.
“2012 marks the third consecutive election that the Democratic Leadership Council has deployed the Soc-donk Auto Pilot II to overwhelming success as a covert weapon in the Democratic Party’s ongoing war against the ‘Professional Left’ of the liberal blogosphere,” Ford said. “We devised the Soc-donk after the 2000 Ralph Nader debacle, and it has become one of the DLC’s most devastating automated campaign tools, whose effectiveness was exceeded this year overall perhaps only by the Nate Silverbot”.