CommunityMy FDL

Why I Mispel

I created the Mispellicism Movement on PFF as a pwoggie intellectual equivalent and tribute to the politicized debasement of the Ainglish language found in hip-hop. I am pleased to say that to date, Mispellicism has grown to become the only sustained activism of historical note in the short, sordid history of the Whiteysphere.

Anytime you see a mispelled word on a soft-left political blog you can be sure that the action has its root in donkeytaliana.

Bettonit.

The qwestian has been raised to me by many, many loosers bloggers over the years–“why do you misspell, you moron?” (or similar words to that effect) Of course, whiteyspherean jackoffs never get anything intrinsically, as we are most all overgrown semi-adult versions of the nerdy kidz everybody hated in junior hi skkkool to whom the kkkool kidz never explained why they were kkkool and we were snot.

So let us today, in the great AmeriKKKan spirit of equanimity engendered by Tuesdaze elevation of the humble, geeky son of an African immigrant and a Kansan hippie chick to the most exulted position on the Wightman’s stage [ed. note: this dairy was originally pub lushed 1/23/09 on a blog that shall remain nameless blameless], dane to provide an answer to this most vexing and complex qwestian of the age of the internetz.

You r (5.50 / 2)
either a sockpuppet of DavidByron, Stet and Fairleft or you all need a refresher course in English grammar: the difference between “your” and “you’re,” “its” and it’s” and “their,” “there” and “they’re.”

Lettuce begin our lesson today with a cursory review of the Ainglish language and its udder lack of consistently applied reulez.

Furthermore, lets play pretend and consider empathetically from the standpoint of the multitudes of recent immigrants to our shores, such as my lovely wife, Frau Tale, who grapple daily in frustration with our ridiculous language in a way that the Whiteysphere neither observes nor cares a twitter about.

Consider the following:

eight
ate
great
grate
sleight
slight
site
sight
four
for
fore

What do the composition of these same-sounding words, pulled out my ass at random in a matter of less than thirty seconds have in common?

Nuthin. And this is but the tip of the ice burg.

Strictly speaking, the Ainglish language is based on nonsense, created as it was by sodden oafs for other sodden oafs. It requires the student to burn up so many of his/her already limited brain units in order to memorize all of its inconsistencies that their is bearly enuff brainpower left over to actually, y’know, think the thot the words are attempting to express.

In fact this archaic, unruly language has rendered us all simpletons. Incessant worry about grammar intrudes upon and eventually destroys the wrighter’s ability to create nuanced, complex thoughts on the skkkreen.

[projection alert]

A simple, elegant language based on clear, consistent rulez helps to bring the wrighter’s intellect to the forefront without getting in the way. This explains why the greatest, most sophistcated literary works in the western cannon are written in Italian, French, Russian.

There is a reason for the paucity of grate poetry and literature in the Ainglish langwage. Grammar policing doesn’t explain all of the thot debasement, to be sure, but it explains a lot.

Pub ail accounts for the wrest.

Mispellicism recognizes that Ainglish grammar is the most vexing problem constricting our intellectual livez and seeks remedy by removing the main barrier: the need to waist three quarters of your brain in the attempt to please hare-brained sheeple with your spelling while they completely ignore yur thots, in any event.

Let us illustrate with an example:

Yur an idiot
You’re an idiot
Your an idiot
Youre an idiot

In every mispelled variation of the contracted “you are” the reader understands the meaning of his idiocy in precisley the same, just-as-accurate manner as she does in the properly contracted, correctly verbed statement.

See, correct speling doesnt matter a whit in the conveyance of written Ainglish. So why allow the rulez to intrude? Why not do away with these archaic word forms and rulez? The evolution of any langwage should be to simplify its useage, broaden its utility and expand the scope of its application to the gratest number of peeple.

Its the thot that counts.

Pyrrhiod.

Previous post

Colorado's Largest Union Endorses Marijuana Legalization Ballot Measure

Next post

Spain Could Agree to a "Credit Line" Rather Than A Bailout

donkeytale

donkeytale

8 Comments