Far be it from me to argue with Wendy Davis (Hi Wendy!), but there is no goldurned way she should have posted that “Guillotine” song by Boots Riley and The Coup.

For starters, it sucks dust compared to another song from The Coup’s new album, song by the name of The Magic Clap.

Now, the critics have also called this new song out for being a buncha things:

– “Contagious.”


– And even, “Chockfula the boogie-woogie flu.”

Hard words; albeit perhaps necessary in such hard times.

Now, in the interests of public safety (and no, I did not misspell “pubic,” though I might well have in this instance), I think it best if you listen this first time in a restrained and respectful manner.

Please follow the time-honoured, 3 step Funk Safety instructions:

Step #1. Sit down.

Step #2. On your hands.

Step #3. That’s right, whomp that great big ass of yours down on top of those skinny little hands you’re always so embarrassed about, and do not get up ’til this song is over, or your Mum says you gotta come up to supper.

OK. DJ Pam the Funkstress? I believe they’re all ready.

I believe we can all now see why Wendy was wrong. In fact, wronger than wrong. For is not a sin against THE FUNK a far far greater sin than, say, a sin against the Department of Motor Vehicles?

Damn right it is, Wendy.

And for those of you who like to argue, I bring you another version of the song. This time, with a poll (granted, I’ve gone beyond the usual A versus A’ polls you Americans seem so keen on.)

Is the song “The Magic Clap:”

A) More Funky?

B) More Dangerous?

C) Dangerously Funky?

D) Needs More Polka?

And yes, this time, you may clap along. Non-Scottish White people, see if you can’t find “the beat” this time.

And in conclusion, children, remember that… “When we slap back… that’s the magic clap.”

quinn esq

quinn esq