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Ann Romney Asks the 47% to “Dig Deep” for $45 to Help Hard-Working Mittens

Are there any takers out there? From an e-blast from Ann Romney, an opportunity to “Donate $45 today to receive your “Make Mitt #45″ Bumper Sticker.”

After all, Mrs. Romney is miffed at her fellow Republicans for criticizing the craptastic campaign to date:

“Stop it. This is hard. You want to try it? Get in the ring,” she said. “This is hard and, you know, it’s an important thing that we’re doing right now and it’s an important election and it is time for all Americans to realize how significant this election is and how lucky we are to have someone with Mitt’s qualifications and experience and know-how to be able to have the opportunity to run this country.”

I’m sure these epic additions to the PR disaster known as the Mitt Romney for President will make it all better, Ann. After all, we now have a declaration from your husband’s’ official physician, Randall Gaz of Massachusetts General Hospital, that Mitt is tanned (!), rested, virile and ready to serve.

“He has shown the ability to be engaged in multiple, varied, simultaneous activities requiring complex mental, social, emotional, and leadership skills. He is a vigorous man who takes excellent care of his physical health. He has reserves of strength, energy, and stamina that provide him with the ability to meet unexpected demands. There are no physical impairments that should interfere with his rigorous and demanding political career as the next President of the United States.”

It’s a laff-a-minute, isn’t it? However, no matter each day looks like a new #FAIL, we have to remember:

AND YET, ROMNEY CAN ABSOLUTELY STILL WIN THIS THING: Not bet-hedging, just a fact. For all the dire pronouncements that this gaffe or that flub has doomed Romney’s campaign to the Admiral Stockdale Memorial Dustbin, he is definitely not out of the running. And we should perhaps see this as a feature, not a bug, of life in America, land of opportunities and second chances. Only in America can one pursue Bigfoot hunting or UFO chasing as an actual job. Only in this country could Joe The Plumber be Joe The House Candidate, and not Joe The Guy Who Is Usually Elbow Deep In Human Excrement And Specializes In Extracting Plugs Of Human Hair From Underground Tubes.

The list of nations in which a man like Mitt Romney could plausibly contend to be head of state is not a long one.
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Pam Spaulding

Pam Spaulding