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The Mysterious Ways

pic via Tatterdemalion at

And to think, all it took was three hundred and forty years of throwing filth into the air, good plan.

In 1678, the inhabitants of Fiesch in the Swiss canton of Valais, exasperated with the glaciers that loomed ever larger over their village, swallowing up their pasturage, inaugurated an annual pilgrimage. The hope was to banish the ice forms with chants, prayers and holy water. Several centuries later, their prayers appeared to have been answered.

Yes, thanks to years of dumping pollution into the sky the planet’s atmosphere is taking care of those glaciers, answering those prayers. Problem is, if you choose to believe these prayers were answered, then you have to accept this version of God as well, which makes the Almighty kind of a dick.

The Giesen glacier in the Jungfrau massif has developed a large crack, and risks collapsing, potentially unleashing floodwaters on the village of Lauterbrunnen

Now, as the story points out, after a petition from the locals, the Vatican has approved prayers to ask for the glaciers to grow again. I’m sure we’ll have an answer by 2356.

Sure we can point out how silly this all is, but reversing the prayers is more than our government is doing.

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In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .