Can’t Buy Me Love

Since Americans are not particularly fond of Android Willard Mitt Romney and his wife, She Who Does Not Care For You People, he is going out and getting some new better more awesome friends (like Axton Chelsae who is totally Mitt Romney’s ‘ghettobwoi’, yo) on the Twitter Machine because winning the Twitter will make him bigger than current President Justin Bieber or that Lady GahGah person-thing. So how is he doing it?

Probably buying them using the drug money profits from one of his Grand Cayman accounts:

I’m not saying he bought them, but Romney’s follower stats have taken a sharp and sudden rise since Friday 5PM EST. Could it be a weekend blitz? Twitter noticed.


Romney was gaining around 3000-4000 new followers per day for the past month. Yesterday he acquired 23,926 new followers and is climbing well over 50,000 today. The hourly stats make it pretty clear where this began.

There is probably a simple explanation for the fact that Mitt’s twitter minion list grew almost 10% since yesterday. I tend to think that it is because his Mittku (Lemon. Wet. Good.) has a certain appeal to a populace who increasingly find reading the whole 140 character thing to be both time-consuming and burdensome.

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