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Noted Scholar

I suppose with the ever present flood of news going from meh to yuck to holy shit the end is nigh there are undoubtedly about 7.1 billion more important subjects than not Joe the not Plumber, the current Republican sacrificial lamb candidate in Ohio’s Ninth Congressional District.  But nonetheless, some bullshit is the same tired old bullshit you hear for years and it cannot go unanswered:

Yesterday, Mr. Wurzelbacher released a campaign web video in which he blamed the Holocaust and the Armenian genocide on gun control laws...

“In 1911, Turkey established gun control. From 1915 to 1917 one-point-five million Armenians, unable to defend themselves were exterminated,” Mr. Wurzelbacher says in the clip. “In 1939, Germany established gun control. From 1939 to 1945, six million Jews and seven million others unable to defend themselves were exterminated.”

Where to start?

First of all, I demand this idiot be required to find Armenia on a Map, new or old — oh, and Turkey didn’t exist in 1911, try Ottoman Empire dumbass. Second, I demand he tell us who the ‘Young Turks’ were. Third, hey Jackass, you assert that if a person was only able to get a gun and fight back the Holocaust would not have happened? Guess that explains the ineffectiveness of the Horst Wessel song, huh?


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In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .