Bristol Palin Will Explain Opposite Marriage To You

Backseat Bristol Palin has once again allowed her mom to use her name to dictate some word shrapnel to the person who writes both Bristol’s blog as well as Sarah Facebook Screech Wall. Who is this person? We don’t know, but we assume they are the only person in the last twenty years to actually have made it to high school graduation in Wasilla without getting kicked out for meth or for being “just too fucking stupid to be taught”.

Anyway, this person (writing as an all-knowing and wise Bristol Palin, so, like ‘science fiction’) wrote a thing about that Oblamer black fella who used his terrorist pals to deny Sarah Palin, Queen of the North, her rightful place on the Iron Throne, and how he is cool with non-opposite marriage now because his daughters have friends with gay baby-momma + other gay baby-momma for “parents”:

While it’s great to listen to your kids’ ideas, there’s also a time when dads simply need to be dads.  In this case, it would’ve been helpful for him to explain to Malia and Sasha that while her friends parents are no doubt lovely people, that’s not a reason to change thousands of years of thinking about marriage.  Or that – as great as her friends may be – we know that in general kids do better growing up in a mother/father home.  Ideally, fathers help shape their kids’ worldview.

Yes. Marriage is a sacred union that is the sole province of a man and a woman that usually follows getting knocked up by doing it ‘Iditarod-style’ in the back seat of Camaro, and besides the gays can always try trial marriages because those are not illegal for gays. Yet.

Anyway, it’s too bad that Malia & Sasha Obama don’t have a “real” (white) father, like Todd Palin, with his stern rules about dating like “Be in by midnight”, “Don’t forget to bring me home some beer” and “Spitters are quitters”.

Word, to your baby-momma.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....