The last time I bought sneakers (Nikes, sz 15), the cute girl at the register asked me "Are these for you?  Oooh, junk!". (Wherein the noumena of the large footed.)


I do not bring this up in an act of shameless self-promotion (ed note: Yeah, right!) but as the result of random thought associations provoked by the fortuitous juxtaposition in the Times of two stories from what we may (without condescension) call the frontiers of sexual behavior.

The first concerns a man who, inter alia, sought sex in closed places.


In his toolkit for achieving more and better orgasms, was 30K in high fashion apparel, including the cited iconic high-heeled pumps.


The second (and far more interesting story) is about laboratory confirmation of the old "closeted queen on an anti-gay mission trope". (If we are free-associating to government spies and high-heeled pumps, can J. Edgar Hoover be far from mind?)


What do we learn from this?


1.  Don't cross dress if you have feet longer than 12".


2. Deforming your instinctive sexual promptings by superimposing some archaic morality will end wth you confined to a duffel bag, virtually or F2F.