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Free Bacon Now Outdumbing Daily Caller and Breitbart’s Chalk Outline

It was not so long ago that we were anticipating being dazzled when chronically incorrect Bill Kristol helped put together financing for The Washington Free Beacon in an effort to find his dumb son-in-law Matt Continetti some steady work and out of the guest house. Strapping young chickenhawk and Protector of the Sacred Palin Taint Matt guaranteed as much when he cried ‘havoc and let slip the Wolverines! of war’ with his opening salvo – Combat Journalism: Bring It, Libtards!:

Meanwhile, rather than tease out the connections between the big banks, unions, alternative energy companies, entrenched market incumbents, institutions such as the Center for American Progress and its Action Fund, and the policy apparatus of the Democratic Party, the press is far happier to mock Republicans as rubes and incompetents and to cover with relish Mitt Romney’s latest gaffe.

What would happen, though, if a website covered the left in the same way that the left covers the right? What picture of the world would one have in mind if the morning paper read like the New York Times—but with the subjects of the stories and the assumptions built into the text changed to reflect a conservative, not liberal, worldview? What would happen if the media wolf pack suddenly had to worry about an aerial hunting operation?

What indeed, and do you have a mailing list that I can subscribe to? Because I find your views very interesting. [cont’d.]

You are about to find out.

Oh, sorry. Carry on….

The Washington Free Beacon is here to enter the arena of combat journalism. Our talented staff will add to the chorus of enterprising conservative reporters, publishing original stories, seeking out scoops, and focusing on the myriad connections between money and power in the progressive movement and Obama’s Washington. Our research and war room divisions will supplement that reporting with context, additional materials, and breaking video. At the Beacon, you will find the other half of the story, the half that the elite media have taken such pains to ignore: the inside deals, cronyism cloaked in the public interest, and far-out nostrums of contemporary progressivism and the Democratic Party. At the Beacon, all friends of freedom will find an alternative to the hackneyed spin, routine misstatements, paranoid hyperbole, and insipid folderol of Democratic officials and the liberal gasbags on MSNBC and talk radio. At the Beacon, we follow only one commandment: Do unto them.

And to prove they were serious about this War On Fake Nostrums thingy, the FeeB even gave out these really cool free promotional Beacon USB drives (to your right) shaped like bullets because they are totally BAD ASS and butch and almost as good as enlisting in the military to fight Islamosuiciders overseas which the guys at the FeeB would have done if there wasn’t a culture war at home to be fought. But, hey, maybe next time we invade an oil-exporting country run by evildoers. Iran? Argentina? California?


In the meantime, the Free Beacon is bringin’ it, as seen by their in-kind contribution to the Romney campaign (which is still celebrating forcing Rick Santorum to abort [hah!] his campaign) with its attack on the Obama Administration for being hostile to women because … shut up, they just are and Mitt Romney needs to do something to fill his ginormous lady gap (oh, grow up. Honestly, you guys…).

As you will see, the Beacon has turned its investigative equalizer on the “the half that the elite media have taken such pains to ignore” and that half says that President Obama is hatin’ on the women worser than Republicans do because he personally won’t pay the ladies for their hard work socialism-ing the country and probably having abortions:

Female employees in the Obama White House make considerably less than their male colleagues, records show.

According to the 2011 annual report on White House staff, female employees earned a median annual salary of $60,000, which was about 18 percent less than the median salary for male employees ($71,000).

Calculating the median salary for each gender required some assumptions to be made based on the employee names. When unclear, every effort was taken to determine the appropriate gender.

We looked at the annual report and it’s true! It turns out that, for example, Deputy Assistant to the President Jonathan Carson makes $153,500 whereas Special Assistant To The White House Rhonda M. Carter only makes $63,240! Un-fair! Rhonda is a “Special” Assistant which has to be better than a “Deputy” Assistant because “deputy” is like a second in command and “Special” is… ‘special’ or ‘unique’ and therefore rarer like A Very Special Episode of Blossom. Not equal, or lesser – better! But, no, Rhonda makes less money, probably because women don’t really need money and also because they get to have boobs which is another unfair thing about men and women. Unless you’re Hugh Hewitt.

But wait, The Beacon’s Andrew Stiles missed THE BIG STORY.

Why do Policy Advisors Patricia McGinnis, Jessica Schumer and Shale Wong get paid no Nobama dollars? Why no monies for the ladies?

Two words:

White. Slavery.

Cue Drudge siren…3….2….1

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....