Twitchy Lady To Fill Rush Limbaugh’s Enormous Gaping Openings

Thoroughly unpleasant television psychotic Michelle Malkin has a new website that she created to occupy her layabout husband; maybe keep him from downloading home video onto  Pacific-Islander cheerleader fantasy porn sites. The new site, is called twitchy.com after Malkin’s unfortunate tendency to jerk spasmodically and froth at the mouth when having to repeat her order at Taco Bell because the people there like to fuck with her since, after all, she’s Mexican-hating Michelle Malkin or, as they like to call her: Payasa Loca.

The idea behind Twitchy is that it is:

… a ground-breaking Twitter curation site powered by a kinetic staff of social media junkies. TWITCHY.COM mines Twitter to bring you ‘who said what’ in U.S. politics, global news, sports, entertainment, media, and breaking news 24/7.

Which is to say that Twitchy’s market is the ‘very special people’ demographic who are considerably stupider than the 18 million ten year-olds who somehow managed to find lesbian singing thing Justin Bieber on Twitter. Of course, if you want to reach that demo you immediately turn to one of two places: Fox News or the Rush Limbaugh show. Since the Limbaugh show has lost most of its sponsors and the vacated advertising spots are being filled with Rush reading craigslist ads in funny voices, there are rock-bottom deals to be had and Michelle is going to park her meager marketing dollars right there:

Michelle Malkin, owner and founder of new Internet start-up TWITCHY.COM, issued the following statement:

“As a small business owner, defender of capitalism, and advocate of free speech, I am putting my money where my conservative, free-market principles are. TWITCHY.COM is proud to join companies across the country that advertise with talk show giant Rush Limbaugh and his Excellence In Broadcasting network. Today, we will begin running ads on the RushLimbaugh.com website.

“Double standards and feigned outrage about Rush’s comments fit a decades-old pattern of liberal attempts to shut down his show and silence his voice. President Obama himself explicitly attacked Rush in 2009 at the very start of his presidency. But Limbaugh not only has survived countless protests, boycotts, media smears and political attempts to kick him off the airwaves. He has emerged each time with a higher profile, greater influence, and a strengthened hand.

“Our business is fledgling and the ad revenue we generate may be small, but we are grateful for the opportunity to reach Rush’s massive audience – and to show our support for his work.”

So, basically Michelle is pity-fucking Rush with her advertising dollars, not that this is the first time that Rush has been the recipient of a pity fuck; just ask Rush’s wife about last Friday night when his world was falling apart and his Oxy80 dealer was late. Ick. Worst forty seconds ever.

Anyway, Twitchy can now be your go-to website for #vettheuppityprez, #CPACiz4gayz, and #IamAndrewBreitbartandICan’tGetUp twitter twats. And, best of all, Twitchy has an open comments policy that you really must resist, say, going there and writing really horrible things because that would be wrong, you guys, so just forget I mentioned it. Just put it out of your minds. Like Limbaugh’s comments about Sandra Fluke… it didn’t happen.

Also too (like you thought I would just end this without posting IT. Not fucking likely…)

Heh. Gravity. Awesome.

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