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Into the breach, dear “centrists”, into the breach

With Lieberman, Snowe, and especially Ben Nelson leaving, our nation was threatened with losing the people our nation’s pundits love (until they might fill their Sunday morning chairs) — the elusive, yet pervasive, “reasonable” person.

And look who comes to the rescue…but the self-described prototype.

Democrat Bob Kerrey said Wednesday that he will run for his old Senate seat from Nebraska, soon to be vacated by retiring Sen. Ben Nelson and a major target for Republicans who hope to win control of the chamber in November.

Oh hollow victories, how can we miss you if you never go away?

But wait, it gets more tragi-comedic:

“I think he would do very well with young people, and it would very exciting to see him reintroduce himself to a new generation of Nebraskans,” said Bob Shrum, a retired Democratic consultant now teaching at New York University. “He is the anti-politician and in this age of conformity and often drabness, his life story will appeal to young people.”

Oh, Bob Shrum — how de-light-ful! The “anti-politician” who cannot help but keep coming back to run for office; the 68-year old who appeals to the “young people”; the age of conformity that has started breaking down barriers against gays and lesbians (how drab) and elected a black guy who tepidly, sort of, supports some of it. All of which happened, of course, without one bit of help from Bob Kerry — the anti-politician.

But Kerrey’s a career-long deficit scold — how non-conformist.

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In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .