Holding Their Manhoods Tweetly
Conservatives are having their I Am Spartacus moment wherein they pledge their eternal fealty to the departed spirit of Andrew Breitbart and promise to dedicate their lives to blog readin’, fierce commenting, twitter-twatting and other types of internet bravado that can easily be done whilst perched upon the couch armed only with The Laptop of Unrelenting Truth and LOLing :
Meanwhile, Supreme Awesome Grand Mega-Extreeme Field Marshall Ace O’ Spades dons his toga (Spongebob Squarepants twin-size fitted sheet) and Crown of Fancy Proclamating (from a Burger King kids meal) and defends the Late Great Andrew from the filthy calumny that was belched forth from rebel apostate David Emmanuel Goldstein Frum. Striking as a heroic a pose as possible when standing on a dining room chair and addressing several indifferent cats and an unwatered aeschynanthus he declaims :
We shall say of them that their legacy consists of more than three words — “Axis,” “of,” and “Evil.”
We shall say of them that they were warriors, and not bitter Vichyites mourning their loss of — loss of? was it ever even possessed? — relevance and reach.
From the dawn of time the primitives in the woods envied and feared those with the Magic of Fire.
David Frum exceeded Andrew Breitbart in one measure only, span of life.
But not in life.
David Frum will die as he lived, gray, timid, small, spiteful, cramped in thought and bent in spirit, slender of talent and obese in self-regard, unloved, unnoticed, unremembered and unread.
Better to live outrageously for only a short spell than to hiss from the shadows, content to live within the niggling license of Master’s Leash.
What was truly charismatic about Breitbart was his never-ending enthusiasm and energy. He spoke fast because he thought fast. He changed topics quickly because he had six or seven plans in mind at any one time.
He actually did things. He was instinctual. Athletes cannot afford the deliberation of thought. They move by instinct and training and muscle memory. They act.
Why did Breitbart sign a lease for a pricey townhouse in DC? Because, he said, “it feels mischievous.” It felt mischievous to establish and Embassy of citizen empowerment in the capital of statist overreach.
He had ten plans a month. He accomplished five of them a month. He acted.
He took over the Weiner press conference because it felt like something he ought to do.
He was brazen. He was bold. The right had no more enthusiastic champion and the left had no more implacable foe.
As I type this, Breitbart is more alive than David Frum has ever been.
I doubt very much that will change as the years march on.
It is the nature of the rat to envy the lion.
We should not fault the rat overly for this. For what else can the rat do?
But we should say that there are lions, and there are rats. And they are easily distinguishable.
And they are as different from each other as the sun is from the mirror that reflects it.
Scavengers have their place. They serve a function.
But scavengers know their place.
And scavengers only challenge the lion when it lies, safely, dead.
Breitbart had two things that men envy: Guts, and drive.
I almost can’t blame Frum for resenting Breitbart for having balls.
I resented Breitbart for having such balls. It’s natural to resent your betters.
It is, however, an embarrassment to commit petty jealousies to print.
David Frum had a revelation today.
But sometimes it is wiser to conceal than to reveal.
If that didn’t get you fired up, gosh, nothing will…