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Late Night: Fragile Flowers

Pity the poor electorate:

Walker has already launched a TV ad blitz and continues to raise campaign cash.

Republicans scored a win in the courts when a judge ruled Thursday that election officials must take “affirmative steps” to more aggressively vet recall signatures.

On Friday, the Government Accountability Board announced the statewide recall could cost $9 million or more in local, county and state election expenses.

Rep. Robin Vos (R-Rochester), a Walker supporter who requested the estimates, said in a statement: “The real results of the statewide recall election will be a financial drain on our local governments and an emotional drain on our electorate. The recalls are not healthy for our state.”

I have news for this jackass. Wisconsin is not for pussies. IT SNOWS SEVEN MONTHS OUT OF THE YEAR UP THERE. And I don’t mean  like there’s a dusting on the ground and everybody cancels school to make half a snowman. I mean you’d better stock up on canned goods, we ain’t leaving the house today, try to tunnel through the alley to Grandma’s to see if her power is still on, the neighbors lost their dog in a three-foot drift and by the way where’s your little brother snows.

And after it snows? It gets to be a level of cold a college professor of mine used to refer to as “butt-fuckin’.” Have you ever had your eyelashes freeze together? Leave a glass of water on the windowsill by the bed and have to break the ice to drink it the next day? Have to get out of bed and start a fire and then get back into bed until the fire warms the house up enough to leave the nest? If you haven’t put on a THIRD sweater at noon, you’re not allowed to talk about cold, is what I’m saying.

I mean, the main food groups of my native people are things that can be stored in the shed or the root cellar for months at a time without fear of spoilage. Certain parts of the state, you’d better be able to kill or catch or grow your own food because the pizza places sure as shit don’t deliver. Want to go visit your neighbors? Strap on the cross-country skis and pull on the snowsuit and march across the frozen lake.

So now comes this pampered suburban dick who is ever so concerned that the constant reminder of people who are poor and screwed will upset everybody. Why, people will just be unable to get out of bed, if they have to hear mean ads describing exactly how Republicans wrecked the economy and tried to blame the goddamn janitors for it.

Because that’s what’s going to upset a state full of people who for more than a decade went out and cheered for a football team that lost every game by four touchdowns.


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Allison Hantschel

Allison Hantschel

Allison Hantschel is a 10-year veteran of the newspaper business. She publishes First Draft, a writing and politics blog, with her partners Holden, Jude and Scout. She is the author of the books Chicago's Historic Irish Pubs (2011, Arcadia Publishing, with Mike Danahey) and It Doesn’t End With Us: The Story of the Daily Cardinal, about a great liberal journalism institution (2007, Heritage Books). She also edited the anthology “Special Plans: The Blogs on Douglas Feith and the Faulty Intelligence That Led to War” (2005, William, James & Co.) Her work has appeared in the Chicago Sun-Times, the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, the Daily Southtown, Sirens Magazine, and Alternet. She lives in Chicago with her husband, two ferrets, and approximately 60 tons of books.