As a peer specialist part of my job is finding resources for people who are experiencing emotional distress. Having revitalized my wildly successful blog last year I have been flooded with tips for my many dedicated followers.
These are among the many support groups I recently uncovered
- PTAA, Post Traumatic Alien Abductions. If you’ve ever met someone who has been probed by aliens and survived long distance relationships with those fabulously interesting Martians, you know how annoying these people can become. They kill dinner conversation by quoting the latest SF movie and insist upon showing you exactly where ET and his friends had sex with them. Have you ever wondered whether there wasn’t some place you could send them? Well, now there is hope. Just follow the link at the end of this blog and you and Jan Brewer will be free of aliens.
- IMVGFDSFUIGE, If My Vegan Girl Friend Doesn’t Shut the Fuck Up, I’m Gonna Explode. If you’re like me, you want to shove a piece of meat in front of some smug vegan and say, bite me.As justified as your actions might seem at the time, some people would consider them morally repugnant. And someone might actually take you up on your offer. A safer alternative might be retiring to your nearest steakhouse for a couple of hours eating some of natures tastiest animals.
- HCBMH, Herman Cain Broke My Heart. For those true believers who clung to his every word and understood the genius behind his 69/69 tax proposal I know you mourn for the one who was too intellectual for America. An early dropout from the Clown Car of Republican Presidential Comedians, he thrilled Jon Stewart and other irresponsible so-called journalists. Your man, Herman, shall rise again, in bedrooms across America.
- WNAWNM, We Need a War Now Mommy, for those deeply worried about the threat of peace breaking out in the next 4 years. There are deeply, sincerely, pro-life, sitting around pondering the death of Iranians just in time for next Christmas. Instead of saying all you want is your two front teeth, you wish for dead children in some distant land. You may get your wish, just ask who god told Pat Robertson will be the next president.