Smells Like Sarah Palin’s Hamper

Just when I thought that I was condemned to a year of joylessly mocking the horse-race aspects of all political coverage in a Presidential election year, along comes Bill Kristol & the Koch Bros to provide me with daily material from the type of people that only wingnut welfare could love and employ (via Balloon Juice):

Impressed by the effectiveness of the liberal Center for American Progress, a group of conservative journalists and operatives are preparing to engage in their own sincerest form of flattery — launching an advocacy group with a similar name and mission but very different target.

Part assault on CAP and part homage, the Center for American Freedom’s goal is to wage a well-funded assault on the Obama White House and the liberal domination of partisan online media.

Based in Washington, it will have an annual budget of “several million dollars,” according to its chairman, Michael Goldfarb, and will house a new conservative online news outlet, the Washington Free Beacon, edited by former Weekly Standard writer Matthew Continetti. It will also include a campaign-style war room led by two former chiefs of the Republican National Committee’s vaunted research operation, and a media-monitoring shop that aims to do to MSNBC what Media Matters has done to Fox News.

“This is a fairly modest start-up that really hopes to combat the Center for American Progress and create something that in the not-so-distant future can be competitive,” said Goldfarb, 31, a former Weekly Standard writer who is now a partner in the lobbying firm Orion Strategies, where his clients include Charles and David Koch — liberal bugaboos and dominant funders of a range of conservative causes and politicians.

“Center For American Freedom” …”Washington Free Beacon”… they are all about the freeance and by ‘freeance’ I mean free from facts and logic and the fear of financial failure since the Koch’s will just throw some more pocket change at them until the whole thing kind of collapses upon itself by the sheer weight and volume of stupid bullshit at which time they will have created the new and improved  Free American Freedom Institute For Freedom using the same beat-up cubicles, squeaky chairs and musty arguments.

But we are pleased to see our old friend Michael Goldfarb land on his feet after he dumped Sarah Palin when she threw Goldfarb and Randy Scheunemann’s real client out of the igloo by declaring her love for the Christian Jesus and not the Jew one. Joining Goldfarb is little chickenhawk turd (warning, sound) Matthew Continetti who also had a long term love affair with Sarah Palin until Bill Kristol told him he needed to start seeing other people because he started writing stupid shit like this:

Liberal-leaning feminists, especially comic Tina Fey, the 30 Rock star who portrayed Palin on Saturday Night Live, were jealous of Palin. “Palin’s sudden global fame rankled those feminists whose own path to glory had been difficult. To them, Palin was less a female success story than she was the beneficiary of male chauvinism,” writes Continetti. He holds out Fey and her TV character for special criticism. “It was telling that Fey should be the actress who impersonated Palin. The two women may look like each other, but they could not be more dissimilar. Each exemplifies a different category of feminism. Palin comes from the I-can-do-it-all school. She is professionally successful, has been married for more than 20 years, and has a large and (from all outward appearances) happy family. And while Fey is also pretty, married, and has a daughter, the characters she portrays in films like Mean Girls and Baby Mama, and in television shows like 30 Rock, are hard-pressed eggheads who give up personal fulfillment-e.g., marriage and motherhood-in the pursuit of professional success,” he writes. “On 30 Rock, Fey, who is also the show’s chief writer and executive producer, plays Liz Lemon, a television comedy writer modeled on herself. Liz Lemon is smart, funny, and at the top of her field. But she fails elsewhere. None of her relationships with men works out. She wants desperately to raise a child but can find neither the time nor the means to marry or adopt. Lemon makes you laugh, for sure. But you also would be hard pressed to name a more unhappy person on American TV.”

To which Matt Gertz adds:

If you followed that, Continetti claims that Fey and Palin “could not be more dissimilar.” Why? Well, Palin “is professionally successful, has been married for more than 20 years, and has a large and (from all outward appearances) happy family.” On the other hand, Fey… well… is also apparently married with a daughter, but the CHARACTERS SHE PLAYS are not. In short, his evidence that Fey and Palin “could not be more dissimilar” is that Palin and LIZ LEMON are different. And that proves that Fey is the type of feminist purportedly out to get Palin because Fey is “rankled” that her own “path to glory” was more difficult.

In other news, Barack Obama and Will Smith could not be more dissimilar because Obama has yet to blow up an alien mothership.

So, really, the Center for American Freedom is actually a rehab program for people who have yet to rid themselves of the taint of Sarah Palin’s taint.

Also. Ick. Too.

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