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A Very Newticle Christmas

Santa’s historian explains it all to Virginia:

Basically, I told Santa, “What you have to do is fly in at the end of the year. It serves as a nice coda for people, plus it works better from a tax perspective.” That’s what Ronald Reagan and I did in the ‘80s, Virginia, and it’s what I was able to accomplish as Speaker of the House under the dictatorship of one of the most liberal presidents of all time: work until the last minute in service to the American people to lower taxes.

I also told Santa, “Give the children toys they might actually like.” However—and this is where the media has intentionally distorted what I have said because they fear my candidacy—I told him, “You have to be aware of something called ‘moral hazard,’ Santa. If kids think that toys are an automatic giveaway at the end of the year, then they will feel no repercussions for any bad behavior. Make sure the bad kids get something a little different.” And that is why bad kids today get something that’s actually quite useful: Good, honest, American coal, which—and I’ve said this many times, you can look it up—is the answer to the fundamental question of how we end our dependency on foreign oil.

You see, Virginia, you can’t just give everyone a toy, no matter their record. That’s what Government does: It rewards people for bad behavior. I wrote about this in my last book (all of which, I might add, are available in stocking-size paperback editions). I explained how you can’t expect, in good times or bad, for someone to just fly in while you’re asleep and give you whatever you most want, free of charge.

There’s lots more…

TBogg

A Very Newticle Christmas

Santa’s historian explains it all to Virginia:

Basically, I told Santa, “What you have to do is fly in at the end of the year. It serves as a nice coda for people, plus it works better from a tax perspective.” That’s what Ronald Reagan and I did in the ‘80s, Virginia, and it’s what I was able to accomplish as Speaker of the House under the dictatorship of one of the most liberal presidents of all time: work until the last minute in service to the American people to lower taxes.

I also told Santa, “Give the children toys they might actually like.” However—and this is where the media has intentionally distorted what I have said because they fear my candidacy—I told him, “You have to be aware of something called ‘moral hazard,’ Santa. If kids think that toys are an automatic giveaway at the end of the year, then they will feel no repercussions for any bad behavior. Make sure the bad kids get something a little different.” And that is why bad kids today get something that’s actually quite useful: Good, honest, American coal, which—and I’ve said this many times, you can look it up—is the answer to the fundamental question of how we end our dependency on foreign oil.

You see, Virginia, you can’t just give everyone a toy, no matter their record. That’s what Government does: It rewards people for bad behavior. I wrote about this in my last book (all of which, I might add, are available in stocking-size paperback editions). I explained how you can’t expect, in good times or bad, for someone to just fly in while you’re asleep and give you whatever you most want, free of charge.

There’s lots more…

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TBogg

TBogg

Yeah. Like I would tell you....