The Discreet Charm Of The Opinionless Dreamdate Candidate

Recently over a dinner of roasted panda cheeks on a bed of quinoa and small easily-digested diamonds, Lady Lynne Forester Sniffnose Wobblebottom  LaDeeDah de  Rothschild and some of her rich pals  asked the help, “what exactly is the current mood of the common riff-raff these days, what with their #OccupyStuffBetterPeopleOwn and Tea Party That Is Not Really A Party Nor Is There Even Tea”, and the help- who were caught unprepared thinking they were only there to see if anyone needed more truffle shavings – kind of hemmed and hawed before admitting that the peasants were revolting … and not in the usual “If I were poor like them, I’d kill myself” revolting kind of way.

Sensing revolution in the air and wary that a ride in a tumbrel might make her ass look big, Lady Lynne ad infinitum and her buddies started up a phony-baloney We Care, No Really, We Do! non-profit to help Americans  select the perfect candidate; someone without any values or strongly held opinions on things like abortion or defense spending or Mexicans or gay marriage or raising taxes or entitlements or gun rights or  religion in the public square or legalizing marijuana or the BCS or paper or plastic or briefs or boxers or Ginger or Mary Anne.. that might put anyone in America off their feed.

The message is clear: as politicians become more partisan and less effective at governing, the electorate is ready for a radical restructure of our election system itself. Voters are refusing to be held hostage to the self-interests of either party. Thankfully, in true American fashion, our civic society has built the tools to meet the challenge; for the first time in our history, the means exist to level the electoral playing field for an independent candidate.

A not-for-profit organization, called Americans Elect is establishing ballot access in all 50 states for the candidates for president and vice president in 2012 who will be nominated directly by the people in an online nominating process. The sophisticated website of Americans Elect allows registered voters a revolutionary new way to nominate a bipartisan ticket to occupy the White House. To date, the website has over 300,000 delegates, more than 50 times the number that participate in both the Democratic and Republican Party conventions (in full disclosure, I sit on the Leadership Board for Americans Elect).

It’ll be just like American Idol!  Taylor Hicks/Sanjaya 2012!

Think of it: you can personally have a hand in picking the next President of the United States who will beholden to no party which, as any student of recent American politics can tell you,  is a sure-fire recipe for breaking Washington gridlock because of …… some reason or another.

If you want to send your thanks to the wonderful folks at Americans Elect who have selflessly created this opportunity for you, you might want to try going door-to-door on Wall Street with your laurel and hearty handshake:

Americans Elect claims that it receives no funding from “special interests or lobbyists.” Even though the group has refused to disclose its list of funders, there is enough evidence to show that this statement is patently false. (Most of this evidence has been indispensably collected by Jim Cook at Irregular Times.)

The group was started by Peter Ackerman, the chief of Rockport Capital, a wealth management firm. He put in at least $1.55 million of his own money to start the organization. (It was originally a 527 organization, which is required to disclose donors. It is now a 501(c)(4) nonprofit, which isn’t required to disclose.)

According to various reports, Americans Elect has raised between $20 million and $30 million so far for its efforts. Other known funders are hedge fund manager Kirk Rostron and Melvin Andrews, president of Lakeside Capital Partners.

Another known funder is Jim Holbrook, president of Promotion Marketing Association, which is a trade association that does lobbying for the PR and marketing industry.

John Avlon, the founder of the corporate-backed “No Labels” group, wrote in the Daily Beast that Americans Elect has raised $20 million from just 50 people. That’s an average of $400,000 per donor.

New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman was invited to tour the Americans Elect offices in DC, which he described as “swank offices, financed with some serious hedge-fund money, a stone’s throw from the White House.”

According to its website, Americans Elect’s “leadership team” is composed largely of hedge fund operators and wealth managers, including Lynn Forester de Rothschild, who is married into the notorious Rothschild family.

In August, Americans Elect added five new names to its “Leadership” list (something like a board of advisors)—all five are wealth managers.

…and when have those guys ever had anything but your best interests at heart?

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....