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His favorite color is “clear”

In a field laden with ignoramuses, functional illiterates, philanderers, super-philanderers and the dork-a-christ, one man stands apart.

pic via maassive at

Mitt Romney, relatively untainted by scandal or backbone — George H.W. Bush with a tan. But now Romney is so dull and uncharismatic he is desperate for some color outside of bronzer.  The base wants more craaaaaazzzzzy.   But being Mitt Romney this is the best he could do:

…there is considerable evidence that Romney has a genuine temper.

Well, there’s a shocker. What is next? “It appears Romney has a pulse”; “Romney, no sign of gills”; “Mitt Romney denies vestigial tail”.  He’s already asserted his hair is mousse-free.

This sort of milquetoast douchebaggery cannot stand against the genuine article.

I suggest Mitt take a hint from the Cain campaign and have a second former family dog come forward to allege neglect.

Maybe he should claim his current dog is named “Fenton”?

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In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .