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One of Our National Nightmares Is in Abeyance

Good news everyone…there isn’t another Republican Presidential Debate for you to follow through the posting of horrific quotes for more than two weeks. Apparently the candidates will be busy fighting the War on Chanukah (“C” vs. No “C”) amongst other things — although I’m just going to throw it out there and say Rick Santorum will be celebrating Ashura.

But what a paradigm of modern GOP Wingnuttery we had last night as CNN, last seen sponsoring a debate with the “Tea Party“, joined forces with the Heritage Foundation and the American Enterprise Institute on the subject of who will make the rubble in Iran bounce higher Foreign Policy. With such neo-con luminaries as Paul Wolfowitz, David Addington and Danielle Pletka asking questions via obliging former AIPAC employee Wolf Blitzer.

* We learned “Africa is a Country” from Rick Santorum, who must have heard that from Sarah Palin.

* Herman Cain said that despite his fear of mountains, if Israel demands we bomb Iran, well by golly who are we to say no?

* Ron Paul criticized the Patriot Act and the War on Drugs and was never heard from again.

* Willard Mitt Romney explicitly denied his first name was “Willard” (it is, but it is pronounced “Throat Warbler Mangrove”) .

* Gingrich indicated he was open to allowing illegal immigrants to be in the U.S. legally. *record scratch*

Well, so long Newt’s front runner status, that was almost not intolerant.

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In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .