Shadowproof

That Time Mitt Romney Assumed The Missionary Position

Now that Mitt Romney has come out strongly in favor of keeping the troops in Iraq until a perfectly seamless nothing-could-possibly-go-wrong my-work-here-is-finished it’s-Miller-time-but-not-for-me-thanks-I’m-Mormon orderly transition is completed, it’s worth revisiting those hazy crazy days of Mitt’s youth when he had the opportunity to go to Vietnam and personally make The Case For American Greatness.

Here’s Mitt:

“I was not planning on signing up for the military. It was not my desire to go off and serve in Vietnam.”

– Mitt Romney, Boston Herald, 5/2/94

Whoa, hey. That’s not it.  My bad. That was Mitt Romney v.1994 when he was running for the Senate in godless Massachusetts.

Here we go, this is recalibrated Mitt v. 2007. You know, the one now running for President:

“I longed in many respects to actually be in Vietnam and be representing our country there and in some ways it was frustrating not to feel like I was there as part of the troops that were fighting in Vietnam.”

– Mitt Romney, Boston Globe, 6/24/07

But, alas, Mitt was forced to do his longing from afar as he suffered the primitive deprivations of late-sixties Paris where he ministered to the spiritual needs of the cafe-dwelling be-bereted existentialism-spouting Gauloise-smoking natives who soon accepted him as one of their own and to this day still fondly remember him as la Douche Ennuyeuse

Bon temps. Bon temps….

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