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Is It April Fool’s Yet?

September flew past in a flurry of activity. My husband and I spent the entire month getting ready for the Alternative Press Expo in San Francisco. Now that the expo is over, I’m going back over my notebooks and I’m seeing all the notes I jotted down for blogs, but never completed. The entire month passed without a blog from me.

So, I’m sitting down right now to change that. I hardly know where to begin. Pease excuse the slapdash, loosely written feel of this blog–I’m trying to sort out a tumultuous thirty days. It feels as if September was an entire month of April Fools Days strung back to back. As soon as I recovered from the wallop of one bad joke or trick, another one followed. The Republican debates offered the spectacle of people cheering the potential deaths of their fellow human beings who lack health insurance and later booing a service member on active duty in Iraq.

In a peculiar coincidence, every single Republican presidential candidate suffered a bout of deafness at the exact same moment. Queried later as to why they offered no condemnation of the cheers or boos, each presidential contender claimed not to have heard them.

Not to be outdone by clueless Republicans, the NYPD misread thousands of tweets and picket signs, and sent protesters over to occupy Zuccotti Park. Who knows, maybe that’s why Michael Bloomberg opined that Occupy Wall Street was really protesting against the salaries earned by clerks, janitors, and hot dog vendors.

Excuse me, mayor, but the protesters really do intend to protest against the banksters and the hedge fund managers, and not against the secretaries and the janitors. In fact, that’s why they named the protest, Occupy Wall Street. There has been a persistent rumor that there are, indeed, bankers on Wall Street.

And that’s why the folks who call their movement, Occupy Wall Street, have been trying mightily to set foot on Wall Street for more than three weeks now. But Lieutenant Pepper Spray and his clueless cops band keep getting in their way. One officer in particular, Anthony Bologna, became so confused he apparently mistook his pepper spray for a can of air freshener and liberally spritzed it over the crowd–you can never get enough of that fresh pine scent.

But seriously, Lt. Bologna, if you think something stinks on Wall Street–I, for one, could not agree more. But you are pointing your can in the wrong direction. Why don’t you step inside Chase Bank or Bank of America? Feel free to spritz away to your heart’s content. (reader suggestions welcome here.)

Speaking of pointing one’s wrath in the wrong direction, President Obama’s speech to the Congressional Black Caucus really took me aback. Of all the metaphors to use, take off your bedroom slippers and put on your marching shoes–this from the president who could not find that comfortable pair of walking shoes throughout all of February and March and keep his campaign promise to join a union picket line. If POTUS wants to blame someone for complacency, he can start by looking in the mirror. Oh well, I guess one of the perks of being POTUS is that he can say something completely asinine and not get thrown out of the room.

Speaking of completely asinine, Melissa Harris-Perry is no longer among the columnists I read. If you’re not already familiar with her column, you can check out the Nation. She wrote a piece titled, “Black President, Double Standard: Why White Liberals are Abandoning Obama.” She notes that white approval of Obama has fallen from 61 percent to 33 percent and argues that by comparing this to white liberals who voted to re-elect Bill Clinton, one can subtract the difference and deduce racism. There are so many things wrong with her argument, I’ve just realized this may require a blog entry of its own.

During September, my opinion of Rachel Maddow also fell a few notches. During the first week of Occupy Wall Street, she remained silent on it. Her news shows were padded with things like old footage of walkouts from the UN whenever Iran’s president speaks. In short, for one full week, I was hungry for news of OWS, and I found her show boring and irrelevant. Thank God for Keith Olbermann. He understood the importance of OWS from the very beginning.

Finally, my attempt to corral the events of September would not be complete without a mention of the special election in New York’s 9th congressional district, where Anthony Weiner’s old seat went Republican. A special thank you is in order to Nancy Pelosi and Debbie Wasserman-Schulz. Those of us with no health insurance really appreciate the Democrats re-branding themselves as the party of sexual rectitude. Hey, Obama’s cutting Social Security and Medicare. But our boys can keep their pants zipped while they fuck you over. So, vote for us.

Just a hint, Debbie and Nancy, about this re-branding thing. Democrats as the party of sexual rectitude ain’t gonna fly (please excuse the pun). One, people don’t care. I would love it if Anthony Weiner moved to Walnut Creek and ran for Congress. Hell yes, I’d vote for him. If he can get me health care, he can string pics of his dick along the Golden Gate Bridge all the way from San Francisco to Marin County.

And, two, the Democratic branding–it’s already been done. I think folks have heard of a guy named Bill Clinton. But allowing Obama to destroy the Democrats’ reputation as the defenders of Social Security and Medicare–that part of the party’s re-branding probably took. And that may be just one of the many reasons a whole lot of folks are occupying Wall Street.

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Janet Rhodes

Janet Rhodes