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Oh, How the Irrelevant Have Fallen

Once Newt Gingrich traveled first-class all the way, thanks to the money he was able to attract as a possible non-running Republican contender, especially in his own mind.

First Class flights weren’t good enough…no they must be chartered.

Campaigning via occasional Sunday morning news program appearances was exhausting, so let’s go on a nice cruise for a few weeks.

And you certainly cannot poll in the single-digits without a little bling.

All these wise political decisions surely showed Newt was qualified as a Republican. How’d that all work out?

A floundering presidential bid has fractured what was once a rock star Republican image. Not long ago, Newt Gingrich sat atop a lucrative political empire, the sought-after intellectual guru of the GOP.

Now, all but broke, he’s traveling coach.

The real tragedy of this is Newt is now depriving non-wealthy people of seat-belt-extenders and complementary bags of four small pretzels.

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In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .