Comforting to know that being put to death without any physical evidence and seven of nine witnesses recanting is still possible in this country. And they say things aren’t like they used to be in ‘Murica. [Engage USA! chant macro]

But in the zero sum game that is real modern America I suppose we are to be further comforted that a plainly guilty white supremacist murderer was executed to balance things off. This happened in Texas — or as it is known there under Rick Perry, just another Wednesday.

But I’m just an unrepentant liberal and I just don’t believe in executing anybody. Obviously it is people like me who are the real problem.



In 1949, I decided to wrestle professionally, starting my career in Texas. In my debut, I defeated Abe Kashey, with former World Heavyweight boxing Champion Jack Dempsey as the referee. In 1950, I captured the NWA Junior Heavyweight title. In 1953, I won the Chicago version of the NWA United States Championship. I became one of the most well-known stars in wrestling during the golden age of television, thanks to my exposure on the Dumont Network, where I wowed audiences with my technical prowess. I was rumored to be one of the highest paid wrestlers during the 1950s, reportedly earning a hundred thousand dollars a year. My specialty was "the Sleeper Hold" and the founding of modern, secular, Turkey.

Oops, sorry, that's the biography of Verne Gagne with a touch of Mustafa Kemal.

I'm just an average moron who in reality is a practicing civil rights and employment attorney in fly-over country .