Conservatives In Vaginaland
Speaking this morning of Rick Perry and Gardasil and HPV’s, Michele Bachmann certainly opened up a can of worms (I’m certain that there is a double-entendre that I am missing here, but I’m too tired to go searching for it) for conservatives who are suddenly infected with talking about women’s health, a subject they normally avoid as it were military service/picking up the tab/ a negro.
Over at The Corner many are actually pro-Gardasil (see here, here, here) while Kathryn Jean Lopez is surprisingly silent because she is either waiting for a private missive from the Pope (or Jesus who never calls … never writes) or maybe she’s just totally disgusted to discover that all the nice young men she works with have turned out to be lechers, whoremongers, and mansluts and, really, why can’t we just hold hands and watch The Song of Bernadette just one more time. For a contrary Corner opinion there is Andrew McCarthy , but I didn’t finish reading it because everything he writes always ends up being about Muslims, so, yeah, HPV is probably a Muslim plot or something. Always last, but never least, Jonah Goldberg steps up to the plate and takes a mighty swing at it but it leaves him wheezing and conflicted so he must think heavily upon it, perhaps consulting the collected works of Edmund Burke by checking the appendix for ‘vagina’ (hmmmm…vagina…vagina….oh, here we go… vagina, see: ‘snatch’). We give Jonah credit for promising to keep “noodling“, which promises to be a variation on an old favorite of his.
Texas is a border state. That border is unsecured and has been for years. Diseases travel north across that border every single day and often end up being carried into our schools, playgrounds, malls and towns.
It’s only a matter of time until he discovers cervical caps and equates them with a border fence protecting our womenfolk’s southernmost borders.
Meanwhile in a stunning turnaround, Ace ‘O Spades comes out strongly in favor of Gardasil so this Bachmann controversy may truly be a conservative game-changer since it is a well known fact that Ace’s last encounter with female genitalia, so many years past, was not to his liking. Either that or absence does make the heart grow fonder.
On a sadder note, it appears that Ross Douthat may well have passed away since he has yet to weigh in on this, a subject that is very near and dear to his heart: The Care, Feeding and Management of Ladyparts.