Language is good. It is the most efficient tool we have to communicate thoughts, ideas, and concepts. New words are created when they are needed to avoid confusion in communication. Thus, Eskimos are reputed to have 100 plus words for “ice,” because in their environment and reality, it makes sense and promotes efficiency to make those distinctions. Similarly, in our language, we have dozens and dozens of words for “lie.” We need our distinctions just as much as the Eskimos (or Inuit, if you insist) need theirs, and for the same reasons. Any fool can see that. And that includes me.
Now, we have reached a point in our history when we are clearly in need of a new word to denote those “persons” that are NOT corporations. Heretofore, use of the word “person” has been likely to create great confusion as to whether the speaker was referring to a pathetic little creature like myself (or yourself, if you are reading this), as opposed to one of the megabillion dollar giant corporations like GE, Microsoft, Apple, Boeing, Exxon, etc. Clearly, the differences between myself (and yourself) and those giants are enormous and significant, to the point where it becomes ridiculous, yea, even ludicrous, to refer to both categories of “person” with the very same word. Also clear is that the use of the term “person” to refer to corporations is now so firmly entrenched that we must resign ourselves to it. Still, aren’t we all confused enough without having to tolerate this unnecessary and senseless additional confusion? I believe that we are, and I also have it on very good authority, with all due humility, that the Creator would like me to do something about it. Ergo (that is a word used by serious people to indicate that something VERY important is about to follow immediately), I propose that henceforth the term “fleshies” should (may I be so bold as to say “must”?) be the preferred usage for referring to all “persons” who actually have feces that emit a relentlessly bad aroma. (Note: This will, of course, include all those millions of non-corporations who erroneously believe that their shit doesn’t stink.) The logic of this is so powerful as to brook no debate. Res ipsa loquitur. Which are other words that serious people use to mean that “the thing speaks for itself.” Now, go forth, Firepups, and be agents of change to improve the efficiency of our language. Doing so may be just the thing that gets you into Heaven.