The God Who Wasn’t There

Well this should cheer everyone up.

Rick Reilly at ESPN:

You knew Orton won if you attended the intrasquad scrimmage Saturday at Mile High Who The Hell Ever Heard of Invesco Stadium. Orton was poised, sharp and studied. He would’ve been 7-for-7 if it weren’t for two drops and some clumsy sideline footwork by receiver Eric Decker.

Tebow, meanwhile, looked like a man being chased by bees. He barely got off a pass (1-for-3) and was sacked three times. Nice kid, sincere as a first kiss, but he’s not ready yet, might never be ready. Somebody alert the Filipino missionaries. If he doesn’t improve, he might be among them sooner than we thought.

The Heisman Trophy winner looks stiff under center. Most quarterbacks go snap-step-step-step-throw. Tebow goes snap-step-step-step-think-ponder-think-some-more-finally-decide-throw-three-feet-behind-the-receiver.

If his first read is covered, he needs a Garmin. He drops his arm as if he wants to run, then thinks better of it. He doesn’t quite understand the coverages yet anyway. And when he finally does decide, he’s late getting it off. He seems flustered, and it screws up his accuracy. He’s much better in the shotgun, but in the NFL you need to have the threat of a run, and the shotgun gives you none.

“The Tebow Thing” is as dead as the Volkswagen Thing.


For the record: I just want to point out that, for all of my Tebow funnin’ (which is mainly aimed at sportswriters and sports commentators who turn into 12-year old girls at their first Beiber concert at the mere mention of Tebow. See:  Forde, Pat)  I think Tim Tebow is probably a hell of a nice guy who sincerely believes that Sky Quarterback  watches over us all. Good for him.  Whatever. But he is not a front line NFL quarterback. Nope. Not gonna happen. And fans who think he should be given the job because of his special relationship with Jesus or because he “works so hard”  (as if other NFL players are slackers who just show up like it was a weekend pick-up game) are idiots. As mentioned on the twitter machine the other day, Tebow could be the answer to the Bronco’s future quarterback needs if Elway makes Coach Fox start him, they lose a shitload of games, thereby positioning themselves to win the Andrew Luck sweepstakes.

Tebow may yet find himself on  this list but at least he can thank Jeebus for first creating Ryan Leaf.

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Yeah. Like I would tell you....