Sister Kathryn Jean Intact Hymen Lopez is getting very impatient with young lumberjack poseur Tim Pawlenty because he has yet to join Maggie Gallagher’s Sex Bigot club, which now that you mention it, is kind of weird and suspicious seeing as Tim is from Minnesota which is the Castro Street of the Midwest (Indiana being the South Beach):

I’ve sorta tired of pledges, but it does seem bizarre that Tim Pawlenty hasn’t signed onto the National Organization of Marriage’s marriage pledge. The pledge is straightforward. And Governor Pawlenty does come from Minnesota, which has been a ground zero for the marriage debate lately. Pawlenty knows this is not a mere rhetorical debate for primary times.

Maggie Gallagher, who is chair of NOM, says, “Pawlenty’s communications director Ann Marie Hauser personally informed me on Tuesday that Tim Pawlenty would not sign NOM’s marriage pledge. Like many people, we are scratching our heads and wondering why Governor Pawlenty, who has been a champion for marriage in Minnesota, would not commit to doing so for America.”

It could be that Tim, who likes Lady Gaga and buys Brawny towels for the same reason you buy toilet paper with the puppies on the packaging, has never found a feller to his liking in Minnesota. But that was before he’s visited the flesh palaces of Iowa looking for votes and, well let’s just say that the corn isn’t the only thing standing tall in Iowa, if you know what I mean, by which I mean that corn kind of looks like a penis that is ribbed for somebody’s pleasure. But you probably already figured that out.

Anyway, K-Lo’s BFF Michele Bachmann has signed the pro-opposite marriage pledge as has K-Lo’s long time internet boyfriend Mitt Romney, and even that buttsex guy took time out from spreading jelly in Iowa to sign… so why won’t Tim Pawlenty take the pledge?

Other than the fact that he’s a big gay homosexual who has a hankerin’ for man penis, I mean…



Yeah. Like I would tell you....