The Atlantic is looking for someone to fetch coffee and be all of the things that McMegan isn’t (which is a lot), up to and including:

• have at least three-to-seven years of experience in journalism;
• have a track record as a fast and clean writer;
• be graceful under deadline pressure;
• have a wide-ranging, creative intellect;
• have a sense of humor and an eye for a good story;
• be adaptable and willing to approach tasks with velocity and high metabolism;

Possibly the job includes the ability to avoid writing lines such as “willing to approach tasks with velocity and high metabolism”, I mean, WTF?

But my favorite part is the “Core Attributes” which must have been added since McMegan was gifted the job, lo, so many years ago:

  • Atlantic Media recruits for two personal attributes in its candidates.  The first is force of intellect – reflected in discipline and rigor of thought as manifested, often, in exceptional academic performance. The second is a personal spirit of generosity – a natural disposition towards service and selfless conduct.

Ha ha ha. We think they mean “carrying water for big business”.

With velocity and high metabolism, of course…



Yeah. Like I would tell you....